Toddlers are fairly uncomplicated.

When I approached my toddler nephew one morning to greet him, he looked up at me and became distressed. His mom had just left the room, and clearly, he had been expecting her instead. I didn’t take his disappointment personally; when my sister returned, the little boy smiled and pointed at me and said my name (well, his version of it). All was well.

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Okay, I get it, kid. I get why you’re insisting on not doing what you’re supposed to do.

I understand that when you look at that series of math problems or that paper to write, your eyelids get heavy and you want to find a trap door to escape through.

You look at your pet with a fresh envy: She just gets to sit there while you have work to do.

I’ve had those feelings, too. I still do. The only difference between you and me is that I have a habit of just doing the dreaded thing anyway. I’ve learned that I like the the benefits that come from doing hard things. Therefore, I see the challenge as an opportunity rather than (only) a source of misery.

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It was a moment that will surely be familiar to anyone who survived middle school.

My students and I were playing and singing a song together when one voice rang out a little louder than the rest. Exuberant and enthusiastic though it was, it was imperfect. No problem in our group — we’re all learning. We’re constantly talking about how we can all grow and improve as musicians, and how it’s an act of leadership to put in the effort.

But not all of us were in agreement on this point, apparently. Two eighth grade girls, sitting idly instead of participating in the music, exchanged a glance. Its meaning was unmistakeable — they were silently making fun of the earnestness of the confident singer.

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Many of us are used to rules and accept them without question.

For some of us, they make us feel safe and comfortable, like someone’s in charge.

For others, they are begging to be tested, contested, rebelled against, bent, and broken.

Each of these tendencies are valuable and necessary. A society in which everyone is constantly questioning the rules has no peace and stability. On the other hand, a society in which everyone always follows the rules, no matter what they are, veers toward totalitarianism.

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At Eclectic Music, we run a summer day camp each week during June and July.

Every Monday, we must quickly build a rapport in order to channel the exuberant energy of a couple dozen anxious, nervous, or excited campers so that we can spend the week preparing them to perform together in a show on Friday and make sure they have fun in the process. It’s a big undertaking that requires a whole team of dedicated adult counselors and support staff.

Midway through the morning sing-along recently, the group lost focus. There was chatter and general mayhem.

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