Posts tagged 110520
What are we teaching by example?

This week, a student at North Paulding High School in Dallas, Georgia, about an hour outside of Atlanta, was suspended for five days. Her crime was posting pictures and video on social media in violation of school policy.

These pictures and video just happened to show packed hallways at North Paulding High School. The superintendent of Paulding County School District, Brian Otott, defended the school’s reopening efforts in response to widespread attention to, and criticism of, NPHS students’ apparent lack of social distancing and mask use as shown in the photos. In a letter to parents, Otott sought to provide additional “context” for the photos, saying, “Under the COVID-19 protocols we have adopted, class changes like this may happen, especially at a high school with more than 2,000 students.”

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Stop rationalizing the irrational

“Why?” It’s the fundamental, foundational question that is the basis for all of our scientific knowledge. As we explore why, we learn about the ways of the world.

We run into trouble when we obsess about the “why” behind feelings. Emotions are fundamentally irrational and cannot always be traced to a specific cause. When we ask our colleagues, our family members, or even ourselves about the reason behind a particular feeling, a reason may be given — but it’s not necessarily the reason. It might just be an attempt to rationalize something irrational.

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Instead of shushing or yelling

At Eclectic Music, we run a summer day camp each week during June and July.

Every Monday, we must quickly build a rapport in order to channel the exuberant energy of a couple dozen anxious, nervous, or excited campers so that we can spend the week preparing them to perform together in a show on Friday and make sure they have fun in the process. It’s a big undertaking that requires a whole team of dedicated adult counselors and support staff.

Midway through the morning sing-along recently, the group lost focus. There was chatter and general mayhem.

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Are you making observations or judgments?

We are all multidimensional, complex human beings.

I know that I am — so I can reasonably conclude that you are. It’s only logical. But sometimes, we simplify people for our own convenience.

The lady on the train is inconsiderate. The guy behind the desk is brusque. The kids are unruly. The girl is sweet.

We label a behavior or trait and then label the person, defining them accordingly.

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Maslow's hierarchy in realtime

There’s always a reason for someone’s behavior.

Another saying of my uncle’s is, “No one behaves badly because they feel so good.”

In other words, if someone is acting like a jerk, they probably feel awful.

Unpacking this can get very complex and require the assistance of a trained professional. But for kids, it’s often much simpler: They’re hungry, tired, or they need a hug.

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What kids need in order to do their best work

“I want him to want to do the work for himself.”

I smiled wistfully when my student’s father said this.

“He’s eight,” I replied. “He wants to do the work to please you.”

And that is okay. That is as it should be. We would be in real trouble if the children of the world stopped caring about pleasing the adults they love. We need them to hang on as long as possible (which is until about age thirteen, when they find themselves increasingly interested in pleasing their peers).

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