I continue to fight my way valiantly through the challenges of life.

Or, at least, that's one interpretation of my current situation. Another is that I am struggling hopelessly with the basics. But I don't think that's the most helpful story to tell.

When it comes to difficulty, perception is reality. If something feels difficult, then it is. The basic respect I offer to my students and clients is to accept this.

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Years ago, I was teaching music lessons six days a week and managing my music school on top of that.

I like to be busy, but I was starting to get tired. To my surprise, the thing I was getting tired of was not the bookkeeping and appointment setting and other mundane tasks. It was teaching the music lessons.

I found myself with less patience and more resignation. The energy I usually put into problem-solving, digging deep and going beyond the minimum to find just the right approach for a given student — it just wasn’t there.

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Vacation, a holiday, time off. For me, it used to mean travel. A complete disruption of routine. An opportunity to explore something new.

What does it mean when I’m stuck at home? There’s no travel. The routine persists. Exploration is limited — so is the new and novel.

As a teacher, I tend to have a lot of opportunities for time off. This year, I’ve greeted most of them with, “May as well get some work done.” There’s been so much to do and so little energy for accomplishing it, so the extra time has been helpful.

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In some jobs, you get to go home at the end of the day. You might even clock out when your shift is done. At that point, you know your work is complete.

Though this type of job might come with disadvantages (never more so than during this pandemic), many of us long for the comfort and predictability of this type of routine. When we’re working from home and we have the possibility of being perpetually connected to our work, we run the risk of perpetually working. How do we know when it is enough?

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Back when I used to have appointments six days a week, I cherished any time when I could do my actual work.

Teaching music lessons was the fun part, but there was so much administrative stuff that needed to be done, and keeping up was a huge challenge.

I was sinking into a life that had no time for reflection or course correction — I was always running and striving.

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