When is it enough?
More time on the vine might lead to a rotten fruit, not a bigger one. (Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter)
In some jobs, you get to go home at the end of the day. You might even clock out when your shift is done. At that point, you know your work is complete.
Though this type of job might come with disadvantages (never more so than during this pandemic), many of us long for the comfort and predictability of this type of routine. When we’re working from home and we have the possibility of being perpetually connected to our work, we run the risk of perpetually working. How do we know when it is enough?
My answer is that it is never enough. If your work is necessary (and you better hope that it is!), you are never going to get to the end of the value you can provide for an organization or the care and attention you can offer to the people you serve. You’re never going to reach a point, whether it’s at quittin’ time or the middle of the weekend, where you can rest without a single thing left on your to-do list. Even if you’re in school, doing a creative project, or volunteering, the same truth holds. Therefore, we have to deliberately and intentionally choose when we’ve reached the point where our work is enough, whether we measure that by the clock or by some other factor.
Whether you assess your work by the impact you seek to have or the growth you want to see instead of by the hours that you spend, you’ll never be complete. However, although our effort is never enough and there is always something else to do, that doesn’t mean that we always have to be working, studying, growing. As surely as we have the discipline to work, we must in equal measure cultivate the discipline to stop. We need to have an agreement with ourselves (or with our employers) that allows us to close the laptop without compunction and get on with the equally important business of leisure. We get to choose when our work has been enough — and we have to practice this important skill.
Yes, it can be really difficult to let go of work when so much is still in the inbox waiting for your attention. However, continuing without rest is not virtuous. Compulsive work is itself a type of laziness. If I’m working all the time, it shows that I have put off difficult decisions, failed to build adequate systems, and ignored critical aspects of my development as a person. I’m working because I don’t know what else to do. That’s not a recipe for success, effectiveness, or happiness. It will put me on track for burnout, illness, overwhelm, and despair.
To get to the point where I was as comfortable not working as I was working, I had to cultivate routines, habits, and structures that broke me of my former tendency toward overwork. For instance, I do not check my email except when I’m at my desk. I do not work on the weekend. I take appointments only in the afternoon. I participate in hobbies and make time to get outside every day.
Most significantly, I had to develop a sense of perspective. The world wouldn’t fall apart if I didn’t return an email within twenty-four hours. Yes, I might disappoint or frustrate someone in the short term — but if I wasn’t willing to take a break, I would be risking even greater disappointment and frustration in the long term. My habit of relentless work was yielding diminishing returns and could not be sustained. Once I stepped back a bit, I was able to see this clearly and had the emotional and mental resources to course-correct.
Finding the exact balance can take some practice. Because I work for myself, I am able to build an irregular schedule that mirrors my energy. Some weeks, I work a lot; some weeks, I slow down significantly. Some days, I start work before dawn and end after dinner; other times, I dabble. Now that the temptation to work too much has been curbed, I have come to trust my appetite. Further, I have built a framework around the fact that I’m not a machine. I rely on several employees to help in doing what I could not possibly do alone.
If you are subject to someone else’s timeline or watchful eye, you may not be able to flow with your own energy to the same extent. However, it is perfectly reasonable to make a clean break at the appointed time. You may not be done with your project. You will definitely not be done with all of your work. But it will keep till the next morning. Even an emergency room nurse gets to walk away at the end of the shift, even though the emergencies don’t stop happening. You can, too — and if your circumstances are such that you cannot, that’s its own emergency that must be addressed.
Even when you have practiced a lot, it can still be uncomfortable to leave tasks undone and projects incomplete. That point of “enough” can feel a bit arbitrary. Through experience, we learn that that stopping is a skill that is well worth the effort. Every time you choose to say that enough is enough, you’re becoming a stronger, more confident creator, worker, and leader. Remember that when you’re resting, playing, and enjoying your life as a result of your thoughtful choices.
