Rural Maine, like a lot of rural places, has a lot of two-lane highways.

Most of these winding roads have a double yellow line down the middle. But on some stretches, you’ll see the dotted line that tells you you’re allowed to pass the car in front of you if there is no one coming. That way, those who want to go faster can do so.

There’s a tension between maintaining the speed of the person in front of you versus bumping out and around them. When you pass, you’re taking a risk. What if you can’t make it back to your lane in time?

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I believe that the pandemic has made me a more resilient person.

I’m able to handle certain stressors, like long-haul travel and government paperwork, with a new equanimity. Even my household chores are more doable than they used to be.

But this resilience depends upon rest. If I’m going to push past the bounds of what is comfortable, I also need to have time in which I’m able to retreat and relax, gearing up for the next challenge.

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I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve given up on creative work.

First of all, actually sitting down to do the creative work was rare enough. The list of prerequisites was long: tidy office and home, emails answered, bills paid, routine tasks accomplished. I may as well have been Cinderella trying to go to the ball, simultaneously playing the role of my own evil stepmother.

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Lately, everyone I talk to feels like they should be doing more.

There’s a sense of guilt over who we could be vs. who we are.

But all we really are obligated to do is stay alive. We’ve got to eat and sleep and bathe.

Then we have responsibilities to the people depending on us: our pets and minor children. And we need to hold up our end of the bargain in our committed relationships.

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I was an okay math student in high school — on the accelerated track, but got a little lost somewhere in trigonometry.

If only I had known about the shower.

When I revisited algebra and geometry in adulthood, it was fun. It wasn’t for fun, since I had professional reasons for doing it, but it felt like a hobby. And I found myself treating a difficult problem or proof like a puzzle to solve instead of an unwanted chore.

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