Finding the escape route
What happens after you get what you want? (Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20)
Several years ago, my brother, who is a software developer, changed jobs and went to work for a different company.
A pioneer in the work-from-home movement, he would still be coding from amidst the tangle of cables and blinking lights in his basement. But he’d be collaborating on an all-new project with all-new people.
I felt a pang of jealousy. “That’s not fair,” I thought. “He gets to work somewhere new, and I’m stuck doing the same thing.”
And then I had to laugh at myself, because...umm...I was running my own business and had been for over a decade. The person responsible for my situation was the one in the mirror, and she could change it up at any time.
I didn’t have to be stuck doing the same thing.
Of course, quitting your job when you’re the boss and the owner of the company is a bit more complicated than giving two weeks’ notice. I had to figure out how to extricate myself from the daily operations of two schools and ensure that they would still be financially viable.
Now, on the other side of that, I feel a lot freer. But I discovered along the way that freedom is a state of mind. When Covid hit in 2020, I risked losing both schools. On a three-hour, nine-mile walk on a cold Sunday morning early in the pandemic, I envisioned the worst-case scenario and figured out how I would cope.
By the time I returned home, I had completely let go of my emotional attachment to the schools. I was willing to let go and walk away if I had to, and what remained was to get my finances in order so that it would be logistically possible.
As it turned out, we didn’t need to close, but two years later I closed one of the schools anyway. It was time.
Over the past decade, I’ve gotten better at considering the exit plan along with the launch plan. I have to be able to see the end in the beginning and give myself an escape route that can be taken at any time. If I can’t find a way to make that work, better not even start.
These days, I keep life a little leaner than I used to. My house is extremely small by modern standards. We get by with one car. My businesses are working hard to build retained earnings. If we had to, my family can survive another Covid-like event. And if I really wanted to, I could walk away from almost everything and start fresh.
What I’ve learned is that we always have more choices than we think we do, even if not all of them are appealing to us. If we’re feeling trapped or stuck or burned out, we can make changes. The obstacle is just as often the willingness to deal with the consequences as it is the ability.
Pretty much the only thing you can’t quit is being a parent. Your kids, you’re stuck with. Everything else is optional and negotiable.
Remembering that helps me to double down on the commitments that truly matter to me while holding the other ones loosely. Everything I’m doing, I’m doing by choice. I am always free to make a different one.
