Making room for the next thing
We don’t always have a choice about the level of chaos that we will have in our lives. (Image by e2grafikwerkstatt)
I used to struggle to stick with things, especially creative projects.
The Internet is littered with my abandoned websites, blogs and profiles. My hard drives are crusted over with books I’ve started writing and various courses that I began developing and never completed.
There are plenty of people out there who will tell me that I didn’t want it badly enough, I allowed myself to fail, I lacked discipline, or I didn’t believe in myself.
Whatever. Now that I’ve learned to follow through on what I start, I know the truth: I didn’t make the time.
Maybe you could say that I didn’t make the time because I didn’t believe in myself, et cetera, but I think the actual situation is more prosaic: I was busy with other things.
It’s a logistical issue. I didn’t think about what I would stop doing in order to start doing something new.
I didn’t quit the old thing before I started the next thing.
That just doesn’t work. How do you add something to your life when it’s already full?
And it is full. You’re filling all of your time, every day. (Relaxing and doing nothing counts as an activity.)
We prioritize because we can’t do everything. When you make something a priority, you say yes to that and no to something else. Thus, if you want to start doing something new, you’ll have to stop doing something you’re already doing (or just neglect it for awhile).
The “right” way would be to estimate the time that your new activity will take and block out the time on your calendar. However, this only works if it is clear to you what you’re already doing. Otherwise, you won’t have time for the things you committed to in the past.
This is where I see a lot of people struggle. They beat themselves up for their failure to manage all of their obligations when they never actually verified that there was enough time in a week to do everything.
They try to motivate themselves (or a teacher or coach tries to motivate them), but motivation was never the issue.
They’re not hiding or slacking. They’re drowning.
The solution doesn’t have to be a thorough audit of everything you’ve got going on, however. You don’t have to do it the “right” way. You can just make an imperfect tradeoff.
This was what happened when I took The Marketing Seminar back in 2019. The time that I would normally have spent doing email went to completing the workshop.
I missed out on some opportunities. I paid some late fees. And I would do it again. It was well worth it.
Suppose you were to take up a new hobby. Perhaps, like I did when I started making videos last year, you might let go of tidying for awhile.
Every day, you are improving your skills in this new area. Meanwhile, you’re doing the bare minimum around the house. The mail piles up. The clothes get washed but not folded.
The evidence of your choice stares you in the face every day, and you might have to ignore it to keep going.
And then, one day, your priorities shift again. You see what’s around you from a new perspective, with greater clarity.
While the clutter mounted, you were creating, working, playing, resting, healing, nurturing, learning. Growing and changing.
The clutter isn’t a sad reminder of what you didn’t do. It’s evidence of what you did do. And now you’re ready to do something else.
From this vantage point, you again choose what to keep and what to let go of. You clear away the past and get ready for the future. Then, you begin what’s next.
