If you knew what it would take

I love watching elaborate domino runs, but this is about all I have the patience for. (Image by Pera Detlic)

Courtesy of a former wrestler, I know what it takes to become a state champion wrestler in high school.

It would involve grueling practices with wrestlers above your weight class, plus weight training. Meanwhile, preparation for qualifying for your own weight class would begin eight months ahead of time with an apple for dinner and going to bed early so as not to experience the hours of hunger that follow.

He boiled it down: “Basically, a miserable life.” No thank you.

One of the things The Dip taught me was the value of seeing the end in the beginning. If we think all the way through the thing we want to do, we might realize that we don’t want to do it after all — a perfectly reasonable choice.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an actor. A child actor. I’m glad that I never achieved this dream (which, for one thing, would have required moving with at least part of my family from Maine to Los Angeles).

A quick look at the lives of the child stars of the eighties and nineties, from Drew Barrymore to Alanis Morrissette to Britney Spears to Macaulay Culkin, suggests that working in the entertainment industry from a young age is an absolutely terrible idea.

I didn’t think about the hard work, the perils of fame, or the adults who would not have my best interests at heart. I just kind of wanted to live inside my favorite TV show. Luckily, I never had to experience the disillusionment of seeing what it was really like. I didn’t have to put myself at risk.

Meanwhile, some of the things that I have tried have worked out. Every so often, someone wants to talk about starting a school or a business and pick my brain. I try to walk a line between not scaring anyone away while also not glorifying the experience. If they knew what it would take, they probably wouldn’t want to do it, but that’s not my decision to make.

On the other hand, one of my clients is “thinking about LinkedIn.” And now that I’ve been showing up on LinkedIn for a few months, my recommendation for her regarding this platform is a fierce no. She loves spending time outside. She’s doing a great job promoting her business locally. She’s got a full life already. An hour a day on LinkedIn doesn’t fit — and honestly, might not even be enough to yield the results she’s looking for.

So many things look appealing from the outside. Of course we want the impressive results and we want to enjoy the fun part. And there will always be someone wanting to sell you on the impressive results and the fun part.

In fact, there are those who want to shame you for not being willing to endure the other part. But there are so many interesting paths to take in life. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that you would rather invest your energy somewhere else. We all love puppy cuddles; not all of us are willing to pay the price by cleaning up puppy accidents. The key is to recognize your preferences before you find out that you are in over your head.

The fact that not everyone wants what you want leaves room for you to make your own unique contribution. You can find some aspect of life in which you embrace the hard part along with the glamorous part and reap the rewards. When you’re deeply engaged in what you’re doing, even the toughest aspects can be rewarding.

And when you make it look easy, we will ask about how you did it. Most of us probably don’t really want to know.