The confidence to let go of success

People who don’t need validation are always an inspiration to me. (Image by Patrizia08)

Would you walk away from multiple social media accounts with over 10,000 followers?

This is the story of my friend Whitney who did just that.

She started doing nail art back in 2012 and quickly got really good at it, which is how she does most things. She has an obsessive attention to detail and the ability to focus intensely — plus, she works very quickly and has excellent fine motor skills. The combination is powerful.

At the end of 2012, Whitney launched an Instagram account and Facebook page. She began posting photos of her nail art along with witty captions and quickly found an audience. Before long, nail polish brands were sending her free products. Followers were begging for tutorials.

Nice people used her work as inspiration and tagged her in their posts. Icky people simply plagiarized her photos.

As the word spread, Whitney grew her Instagram to over 13K and her Facebook page to 18K. (This was back in the days when Instagram was much smaller — less than 6% of the number of users it has now.) There was a ton of momentum and huge potential for growth.

And then...she stopped.

There was no drama, no struggle. One day, she just didn’t feel like creating nail art anymore, so she didn’t.

Her accounts are still up, even though she hasn’t posted in years.

Whitney went on to become an expert in yoga and bookkeeping. She got got married, bought a house, and had a child. These days, she has nearly a hundred house plants and is a moderator of Reddit’s biggest book club community.

She has a fun and peaceful life. She never “monetized” her hobby. She didn’t obsess about metrics. She got what she wanted out of it and moved on.

A few months ago, she started painting her nails again. But she doesn’t post the pictures online. She just doesn’t feel like it.

I admire the way Whitney always goes in the direction of what she wants, even if it’s not logical. She’s not trying to wring every drop of attention out of an audience. She’s not trying to optimize her nail art content and and turn it into a profit center.

Instead, she’s enjoying her time on the planet, pursuing interesting challenges and exploring compelling possibilities. She’s not worried that she won’t have enough money, time, or praise. Rather than looking for affirmation from strangers, she’s living in alignment with what matters to her.

To me, there are a lot of lessons from Whitney’s story. My main takeaway is that we can treat our own success as a sunk cost.

We don’t have to continue what we start or keep what we have. We don’t have to keep doing what we’re good at.

And we don’t have to give people what they want from us, even if they ask for it.

We can change our minds anytime. There’s so much stuff in life that we have to do that we have no control over. Might as well take advantage of the choices we do have and do what we want, the way we want.

We don’t have a responsibility to our former selves. We don’t have a responsibility to our audience. We can reinvent ourselves anytime we choose.

What do you feel like doing next?