It’s the moment of truth. We’ve clearly identified a problem, and it’s time to pivot to solutions.

“Now that you see this pattern, what will you do differently?”

“I guess I’ve just got to try harder to stay on top of my work,” she says.

It sounds right. It sounds virtuous. It sounds like a reasonable thing to say to get your teacher/boss/mom/coach off of your back. But of course, nothing really changes as a result of “trying harder.” If the way we’re doing it isn’t working, trying to do more of the same isn’t going to help.

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“If you’re in such a hurry, why don’t you ride your bike instead of walking it?”

“I don’t have time to stop and get on!”

I don’t remember where I heard or saw this joke, but it has stuck with me for decades. And I think of it often as a teacher and coach. What is it that causes so many of us to do things the hard way, pushing through without the necessary information or resources?

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One of the newer members of my teaching team had a breakthrough moment recently.

She was working with a student on a straightforward topic: Nouns. (I just accidentally typed “nuns” and it made me laugh, but let’s stick with the true story.) The lesson material was basic. It gave a little info about what a noun is, some examples — and then the student was asked to circle the nouns in a series of sentences.

When the student circled only some of the nouns and not others, her teacher was perplexed. She asked the student to look at every single word and decide whether it was a noun. Again, the student failed to circle all of the nouns — and circled some other words that weren’t nouns.

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Many experienced piano students come to me struggling with a technical problem I like to call The Claw.

Instead of dropping the weight of their arm into the key with a light bounce, they press into the bottom of the key forcefully, with a tensed finger and wrist.

It’s supposed to be like tapping an iPad; instead, it’s like trying to open a pickle jar. The result is a brittle, labored sound.

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“You’re going too fast. There are cars parked on both sides of the road.”

“I’m fine, I’m under the speed limit.”

Ugh, backseat drivers are the worst, aren’t they? But when it’s your mom and you are an unlicensed teenage driver, it behooves you to listen. Her feedback is not just pesky, controlling nonsense — it’s exactly what you need.

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