Why it’s so hard to pursue your passion

I love the idea of jewelry, but whenever I wear it, I take it off halfway through the day and lose it. (Image by starbright)

For some years, I’ve wanted to write a book that will teach adults how to play music by ear, along with all of the music theory necessary to do it.

Despite the desire, it hasn’t happened. Perhaps you can relate.

Have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to get going on a passion project, even when the desire to pursue it is strong?

I have a theory that the reason is a lot more practical than we typically hear about.

Let’s set aside those deep dark emotional reasons like fear of success, fear of failure, and perfectionism.

Let’s ignore, also, our lack of belief in our ability or follow through.

These reasons may be legitimate, but they’re so boring. And most of us have already gone down that rabbit hole and it hasn’t made a difference.

Instead, I want to put forth some practical, rational reasons why you’re not doing the thing you say you most want to do.

I’ve identified two so far, and they both have to do with risk.

One, nobody’s paying you. Two, nobody’s interested.

First, if no one’s commissioning this work — no one’s offering to pay any money for it — it’s hard to justify setting aside the time to do it when there’s other work that you are getting paid for or other responsibilities that you have that fulfill an economic purpose.

We may not like to admit it, but we tend to prioritize the thing we’re doing that helps us put food on the table.

Two, you’re creating this entire thing on spec. Nobody’s asking for it. It exists entirely in your own mind.

Maybe it solves a problem that or satisfies a desire that people have

but so far the world is getting along just fine without it. it’s easy to believe that no one will ever notice or care.

Thus, there is a substantial amount of risk involved with investing time in this thing you’re passionate about. You have no guarantee that you’ll get a return on your investment. It’s perfectly reasonable that you would not prioritize this project, no matter how much you want to do it.

Going back to my music book, it’s certainly true that there was a period of time in there in which it made sense to blame my lack of discipline, organization, and focus.

And somewhere in there, I struggled with a lack of belief in my ability to do it.

And there was another phase in which I was simply too busy.

But in the time since I first had the idea to write this book, I have started two other businesses, written tons of other things, and greatly improved my time management, planning, and organizing skills.

I’m not doing the book because I have very little practical incentive to do so. Lots of work, scant promise of reward.

Maybe you’ve been beating yourself up for not following through with your dream. However, is it possible that the choices you made about where to spend your time and energy have been wise and well-reasoned? Maybe you’ve prioritized exactly the thing you needed to all along.

When you stop buying into the narrative that you just don’t want it bad enough or you’re not trying hard enough, you can make your choices with more intention. Ironically, when you see that you’ve been unconsciously protecting yourself from wasting time, you can consciously choose to pursue this passionate interest anyway.

Because the one reason that trumps these practical, rational reasons not to pursue a project is, “I just feel like it.” Totally irrational, but also totally reasonable. And when you go into a situation fully aware of the risks and rewards, you are much more likely to succeed.

So dig into your passion project if you want to. But if you don’t, it won’t be the first time that you chose not to do something that you wanted to do. That’s not necessarily a lack of discipline or a fear of the unknown. Sometimes, it’s wisdom.