Phases of productivity
Roses are so beautiful, don’t you think? (Image by congerdesign)
I know that I tend to be at my best when I wake up early.
Whether it’s a weekday or the weekend, I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally sharpest throughout the day if I rise before dawn.
Like sticking to a schedule, tracking my time, eating certain meals at certain times, getting lots of exercise, starting the day with creative work, and staying well ahead of deadlines, this is just one of the things that I know works for me.
Except when it doesn’t.
Yes, as much as I like to be productive and inspired and full of energy, sometimes I’m not. It’s hard to say what the trigger is. It might be hormones, a project that I stayed up too late working on, some bad news, a caffeine hangover, stress, or simply the cumulative effect of too many early mornings. But every so often, I don’t want to get up. I break my own rules of life and spend a half hour browsing the web from bed instead of using my best and favorite time of day to do creative work.
By the time I get my act together and head downstairs, I’m already behind schedule and I need to reconcile that in some way. However, it’s easier to ignore it. I will generally do the things I’m supposed to do, but don’t have that pleasant feeling of being on top of my game. I’m just drifting.
On bad days, I drift further. The dishes pile up and nobody goes to the grocery store and I read through my email without answering any of it. I don’t feel confident and motivated to move forward in my work. Every task feels heavy and dull and cumbersome, and I, myself, feel discontented and blah.
Days like this have increased in frequency during the pandemic. I used to have to be somewhere. I used to get to see people. Those routines are gone, the friendly faces appearing only on a screen. It’s just me, dealing with myself, all day long. If I decide not to follow my own checklist for success, there is no buffer or distraction from experiencing the consequences of that.
On the best days, the ones where I’m productive and joyful and have all the time and energy in the world, I don’t know whether I feel great because I woke up on time or if I woke up on time because I was feeling good in the first place. If I’m not springing out of bed, I’ve got to assume there is a reason. And instead of feeling and believing that I’m behind the eight ball, perhaps I can acknowledge that I’m simply in a new phase of an acceptable cycle of productivity and creativity.
The practical difference is that I might adjust my work hours, rearrange some tasks, and take more breaks. But the real shift is the change to my expectations. Instead of being disappointed and frustrated at my lack of concentration and focus, I shrug and grab some tea, go for a walk, empty the dishwasher, or simply stare off into space for awhile. It’s okay. It will be okay.
On some days, I can find a good groove. Some days I never quite catch it. But I’m learning how to make the best of the day as it is, not as I wish for it to be — and myself as I am, not as I wish to be.
It makes no sense to holler for the moon at night, wondering why it hasn’t risen yet. In fact, it might be a new moon that has just set. In two weeks you’ll get your full moon, rising at twilight as you know it will. But right now, it’s in a different phase. If you know what to look for and what to expect, it won’t be so bad. Some days, you might see nothing at all. There’s nothing to fix and nothing to fear.
Like me, the new moon rises before dawn. It’s not better or worse than rising at any other time, really. There’s a rhythm to it, and I might as well accept and embrace my own.
