Finding a signal in the static
Eat too many sugary treats and you might lose your natural craving for fruit. (Image by Pexels)
On the days when I struggle to figure out what I'm going to write or I’m having trouble settling down to do my work, it's not because I have a shortage of ideas.
Instead, it’s because I have too many. And sometimes, too many of the wrong kind of ideas. I have plenty of things to say that I don't think anybody would care about. There's stuff on my mind to do with personal circumstances — boring ones — that I don’t think would be relevant or interesting to anyone else.
To an extent, my ability to write successfully depends on resolving or putting aside any of the issues or challenges I might be experiencing that are getting in the way of being able to express myself clearly and confidently.
This is the idea behind Julia Cameron's Morning Pages, as described in her book The Artist's Way. Cameron advocates for blocked creatives to spend every morning, before doing anything else, in a sort of writing meditation in which they are to write three pages longhand, jotting down anything and everything that's bubbling to the surface and getting in the way of their ability to do their creative work.
Often, just as Julia Cameron suggests, the thoughts and impulses are nothing worth sharing. However, I find that sometimes, the things that I'm hung up on can give me clues as to what I can share that might actually be useful. I can navigate around my personal feelings and experiences to do my work, but sometimes I write right through them and allow them to become the focus. There are all kinds of ways to find a signal amidst the static.
Ironically, the very experiences that I might usually try to smooth over and move past — the discomfort and uncertainty and the ways in which I’m coping — are the most relevant of all these days.
For example, this morning, on the day of American presidential election, I find it difficult to think about anything other than the fear and anxiety that so many friends and colleagues are experiencing. Until the election is resolved and the outcome is known, will anyone be able to concentrate on anything else?
I am fortunate that I can choose to ignore today’s events without serious consequences. Professionally, I am not expected to have a swift reaction to the results of the election. I don't have to buy or sell massive amounts of shares of a company. I don't have to write news articles that need be published on a tight deadline. I don't need to mobilize large amounts of troops to keep the peace in the event of a riot. Mostly, I can mind my own business and do the work that I do every day. However, I must remember that friends, family, colleagues, and students may have a different set of priorities. I probably won’t be able to escape to the extent that I might wish to.
No one ever knows what the future will bring. Like a lot of people, I'm feeling that more profoundly than ever. Unfortunately, I can't write words that will convincingly soothe anyone. There’s no shelter from this storm. I suspect that a lot of people are hoping that when the election is over, things will be easier. The truth is that the outcome of the election, regardless of what it is, will not resolve the prevailing uncertainty. So we watch and we wait, as we've been doing for months. We've actually gotten pretty good at coping with uncertainty, when it comes down to it.
If, like me, you’re trying to write today or do anything that requires concentration and focus, consider the possibility that you might need to take a moment to deal directly with the distractions first. Share what's on your mind, whether on paper or to a trusted soul, and make space for those around you to do the same. Take it easy. Accepting that there will be a lot of noise in your mind might make it easier to quiet it.
Learning how to concentrate and compartmentalize is a useful skill, yet it can't always be easily deployed. There might be some work that you need to do to get to the point where you can let go of the jumble of thoughts and focus on the task at hand. If you've been struggling to do that lately, I don't blame you one bit.
Talking and writing about the election, the pandemic, and the other stressful things in your life can help you to find equilibrium, but there are other approaches. It may be that making art will be the thing. Prayer, meditation. Getting exercise is also good. When all else fails, putting the work aside and sinking into entertainment may be the answer. Whatever you do, it's okay. You’re okay, and it’s going to be okay. There’s always tomorrow. And I don’t know what it’s going to look like, but I will show up here and have something to share with you. Please forgive me if it seems like I was a little distracted when I was writing it — there’s a lot going on.
