Not everyone is good at their job

For some of us, the quality of our work will suffer when we aren’t permitted sufficient solitude. (British Library)

My husband and I used to go to a burger chain that had insanely delicious burgers, really good french fries, and thick milkshakes made with real ice cream.

This burger chain had counter service that was always incredibly slow. The people who worked there seemed to be in a daze.

What's more, the place was always running out of things. And there were often little handwritten signs around that were meant to correct other signs that had been created by the corporate office.

Even though the burger chain clearly had operational problems, we kept going back—the food was just that tasty (and cheap). We made it over there every few weeks to enjoy a special treat and amuse ourselves with whatever would be going wrong this time.

Around that time, my husband coined a helpful saying that has prevented me from getting too annoyed by things that are ill-designed, inefficient, or just plain broken (especially when they are not mine to fix). He says, "Not everyone is good at their job." This statement offers a sense of perspective and allows me to let go without resentment or frustration.

Viewed through the lens of "not everyone is good at their job," I can approach the world with greater compassion. I can acknowledge that everyone is out there choosing their battles and trying to muddle through as best they can. From the lady at our local coffee chain who can't figure out the buttons on the register to the "You had one job!" meme that was so popular on the Internet a few years ago, it's much easier to criticize someone else for their mistakes than it is to do the work in the first place. I have to remember that.

Even though I might notice things that can be corrected or improved, I don't want to fall into the trap of judging other people and organizations solely by their weaknesses. That doesn't mean I seek to do business at poorly run places, but it does mean that I try to empathize. These days, with so many shops and restaurants that are short-staffed, I can make an extra effort to be patient when things are slow or errors are made.

The most important corollary of "not everyone is good at their job," however, is that some people are good at their job. That means that we can find those people. They're out there. There are good haircuts to be had and accurate tax returns to be filed.

Unfortunately, many of us never get that far. We let one negative experience color our perception of an entire industry or category. Instead of continuing to look for the right person, we just give up.

This is understandable. After all, in a normal distribution, most of the people in a group will be average at a given activity (since one standard deviation from the mean includes 68% of all individuals). According to the math, another 16% would be the weakest members of the group.

If you want somebody great, then, you're theoretically looking at the remaining 16% of the population—about 1 in 6. Of course, it might be even harder to find what you're looking for if you live in a small town that doesn't tend to attract, for instance, world class massage therapists, estate lawyers, and saxophone instructors.

But that 1 in 6 is why you can't lose hope after just one or two attempts to find someone to babysit your kids, ghostwrite your book, or stand behind the cash register at your store. Statistically speaking, it may take a few tries to find the right fit. Saying "Forget it" or "I'll just do it myself” is short-sighted. It’s possible that the right person is still out there. It may take patience and persistence to find them, and there are no guarantees, but we don't have to judge an entire population based on one mediocre example.

I don't mean for all of this to sound as judgmental as it probably does. The thing is, your requirements are specific to you, and your sense of who is good enough is similarly individualized. You're allowed to want what you want, and someone who isn't a fit for you might be a fit for someone else.

Moreover, people aren't usually bad at everything. The person who isn't the best bookkeeper, say, may be an incredible party planner, and I hope they figure that out. In the meantime, though, it's okay to stick to the criteria that are important for you.

The world is a chaotic place. Though everyone is making their best effort to figure it out and succeed, people mess stuff up all the time. That's okay, but it doesn't have to be your fate to be saddled with that outcome forever. You get to choose the things that matter most to you and seek exactly what you need. You may have to put in some work to reach that result, but if you don't quit, you will arrive eventually.