If your plans always fail

Ferdinand de Lesseps was convinced, delusionally, that the Panama canal could be built without locks. No one knows how many people died in the attempt. (Image by Andrea Spallanzani)

One of the pitfalls I’ve observed when people try to change their lives is that they try to change everything at once.

The person who hasn’t set foot in a library for years is going to try to read 52 books before December 31, or the person obsessed with Twitter and dating apps decides to go on a no-phone diet.

We’ve raised the bar so high that we can’t even reach it, much less leap over it. And that sets us up to be disappointed in ourselves and drift even farther from what we wanted to achieve.

It doesn’t have to be like this, though. Here’s how one client became more productive by lowering his standards.

Even though he was very successful in his business, he found it so hard to plan his days that he had pretty much given up on trying.

He wanted to get to his office by nine, but he kept waking up late because the late evening was when he spent time with his night-owl wife. By the time he had finished his morning rituals and dealt with the kid and the dog, he was getting to the office at 10:30, feeling scattered and overwhelmed.

Every time he said to himself, “Okay, I’m going to make a plan and stick to it,” he ended up feeling like a failure because his plan was off the rails before he even started his workday.

But when you don’t stick to the plan, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It means that the plan needs some work.

A plan doesn’t have to make you stretch. It can meet you where you are.

So my client made a new plan that was designed around getting to the office by 10:30. His plan worked around his chaotic home routine instead of trying to overcome it.

For the first time, he had a plan that he could actually stick to. Since his day wasn’t ruined before it started, he had the confidence to follow through on the things he set out to do instead of just letting other people’s demands take precedence.

After a few weeks of practicing this new skill of planning, he was able to make changes to his morning routine and start arriving at the office before nine.

He didn’t get there by trying harder.

He didn’t do it by beating himself up for his mistakes.

He did it by accepting reality, lowering his expectations, and ever-so-gently introducing the new habit of planning.

If your plans always fail, maybe the problem isn’t you. Maybe it’s your plans. If a plan requires you to magically become a better, more organized person or to solve problems you’ve never been able to solve, it is going to be doomed, through no fault of your willpower or determination.

On the other hand, if your plan takes into account your present situation and simply allows you to think ahead about the circumstances and how to best arrange them, you’ll have a chance at being able to follow it. You won’t have to be a different person making different choices — you’ll be the same person, simply making your choices for the day ahead of time.

Sometimes the best way to change your life is to start where you are, build up your confidence, and, with kindness and generosity toward yourself, take tiny steps in the direction you want to go.

Lowering the bar is one of the best productivity hacks I know of.

Where might you lower your standards in order to accomplish something that matters to you?