This is not Groundhog Day

Every day, the ocean is the same. And every day, it is different.

In newspaper articles and conversations, I’ve been seeing and hearing references to Groundhog Day, the classic 1993 film directed by the Harold Ramis and starring Bill Murray and Andie McDowell in which a TV weatherman has to live the same day over and over.

For many of us, it feels like we’re stuck in a loop that there’s no way out of. Every day is the same routine, bringing stress, listlessness, and more bad news.

For some, there is a sense of waiting for life to resume, as careers, travel, and educational plans are put on hold. And the very real threat of illness hangs over us all, requiring our strict vigilance.

Even if we’re not doing anything, we’re exhausted — and then we wake up and do the whole thing over again.

But this is not Groundhog Day. This is life, and time is going by whether we feel it or not. We can choose to see every day as monotonous and relentlessly similar to the one before, or we can explore the potential that we have to react differently to our situation.

In fact, the lesson of the movie is that, even though Phil Connor is living the same day repeatedly, his experience of it keeps changing. Despite the lack of variety in his surroundings and circumstances, Phil keeps growing and learning. He’s responding differently over time. He’s living his life, even though he never gets past February 2. Phil learns that he doesn’t have to see things the way he’s always seen them and do things the way he’s always doing them. Phil transforms, and so does his daily existence.

Many American schoolchildren have already completed a full marking period — a quarter — whether they’re attending school in person or not. Workers have collected months’ worth of salary, whether working from home or not. Runners are training for marathons, artists are completing works, physicians are saving lives, toddlers are learning to talk, and human beings are gestating in wombs around the world. Not everything is at a standstill.

That’s not to say that people aren’t suffering. We’re experiencing grief and stress and trauma, individually and collectively. I’m not intending to point out silver linings in that experience. However, pain is ultimately a growth experience. It doesn’t leave us the same as it found us. Like it or not, we are building our resilience and fortitude with every day that passes.

We can believe that, as in Groundhog Day, our lives are on hold. If that is soothing and comforting to you, then use that story. But if you find it demoralizing and frustrating, consider that maybe your life is not on hold — it just looks different from what you expected and planned for. There is wisdom to be gained, and, in tougher moments, gallows humor to laugh at. There will be moments of joy amidst the anxiety, hopelessness, and helplessness.

I would say, “we can get through this,” but we don’t know what “this” is. There is simply what is, for now. We’re just in it, and we can live it, day after day.

Today, I’m writing this article and making a sweater. And I’ll make lunch, too. How about you?