Nobody knows
There are some things we can always depend on. Surround yourself with them. (Image by Stiva Oblonskiy)
There comes a point in the news cycle where there’s nothing new happening, yet the flow of words and images must continue.
That’s when the news media starts reporting on stuff other people said about what could happen next.
“So-and-so predicts worst economic downturn in modern history!”
“A source says that students won’t be back to school until 2021!”
It can be comforting to listen to these predictions and speculations, even when they are dire. At least someone is pretending to know what’s going on.
As a child, I had complete faith in adults. As an adult mentoring children, I’m aware of the impact and influence I have. What’s been surprising is the other adults looking to me to help them figure out what to do next.
“When will we be returning to in-person lessons?” A couple of the teachers at my music school wanted to know this, and asked me. But I don’t know. Nobody knows.
It’s a weird thing to try to make decisions for the future in the midst of an utterly unfamiliar situation. There’s no precedent and no useful data. What does it mean to lead when you have no idea where you’re going?
I believe in being transparent. My friend Anna did this beautifully when she announced the closing of her gymnastics program. She demonstrated utter acceptance of the present reality but framed it in a way that was empowering instead of defeated, true to her values and those of her company. She acknowledged how close to the edge her business was going to be and let her clients know what they could do to help. She shared a basic plan, but she did not offer false hope.
This may not be much comfort to those who want to know when things will be back to normal and when they can get their refund. However, Anna’s words are calm, wise, and true. These attributes are comforting in their way, even though they offer no certainty.
My message to my students — and really, anyone who wants to listen to me — is always that we must focus on what we can control. Generally, that comes down to our own actions. After awhile, we have to turn away from the noise of the news and look at our own lives.
For my part, I’m able to think a few weeks into the future, making choices about how to handle our annual Recognition Ceremony at The Little Middle School and the first week of summer camp at Eclectic Music (moved online and canceled, respectively). I’m going through the motions on longer-term planning: I’m deciding to act as if a new school year is coming, behaving as though my team and I will make it to that moment.
Even though I’m making decisions as though I know what I’m doing, if someone were to ask me what’s going to happen, I would tell them the truth: I don’t know.
That doesn’t have to be scary. The truth is, we never know. This pandemic has brought us face to face with the fact that we can never truly predict what the future will bring. And we can live with that, as humans have for millennia.
I believe that children don’t need adults to always know what will happen — they need us to love them and reassure them that things will be okay. That we can do, no matter what. We may have to be flexible in our definition of “okay,” but we can handle that — we are resilient beings. In times of great upheaval and uncertainty, we can concentrate on the present moment. It’s all we ever have, anyway.