What you already know you need to do

Some of us would rather feign unconsciousness than have to make small talk. (Powerhouse Museum)

In this very moment, what is bothering you?

Is there anything nagging you? Any prickle of discomfort that points to something that you know you need to resolve?

It’s funny how something small, like remembering that we need to follow up to change next month’s dentist appointment, can occupy so much space in our heads.

When I sit down to work, that is not the kind I want to do.

Neither is the very tricky business of figuring out what is next on a new project. Sometimes, it feels like staring at a brick wall.

However, very often, there is something unpleasant along those lines that has to get done.

It might feel a little uncomfortable and uncertain and we would rather not do it. Maybe we’d rather take a course, read a book, watch some educational videos on YouTube, or hire a consultant in the hopes that there is some more glamorous way to solve the problem. Perhaps we’ll be led down a more appealing path.

It’s true that you might have made some assumptions about what you need to do, and these resources can be helpful in uncovering that. Fore example, you might be relieved to learn that you are off the hook and don’t need to write a book before you can gain credibility as a speaker.

However, it’s just as likely that you are going to have to do the thing that you already know that you need to do. The good news is that doing that thing will also bring relief eventually. Once it’s done, you can move on to something that is more fun.

When, instead, we keep trying to get around the thing that we know we need to do but aren’t doing, we spend more time thinking about it than we need to. It comes up so often in our minds, for one thing. And then, that repeated thought begins to collect feelings of guilt and even shame. It’s like a weed dominating the garden and choking out the flowers we planted on purpose.

We can decide, once and for all, that we’re not going to do the thing. But when it’s the thing that’s standing in the way of your progress in an endeavor you care about, you probably have to do it. Sorry.

You can spend a lot of money and time looking for another answer, but you probably can’t avoid doing horrible things like updating your resume, reaching out to so-and-so’s friend, preparing for the audition, or getting your photo taken. It’s just the way it is, man.

So there may be the little odds and ends that you know you need to get to: Emailing this person, paying that bill, picking up groceries for dinner.

And when that stuff is out of the way, what else is looming? When you look at where you feel like you’re stuck, what immediately leaps to mind as the solution?

See, you already know. You just don’t like the answer. It’s ugly and ungainly. Someone will get their feelings hurt. You’ll become aware of some painful sunk costs. You’ll have to admit that you were wrong. You’ll have to do things in a different way than you’ve ever done them.

On the other side, though — you’ll be free. Chances are, there’s something else difficult that you’ll have to do next. But with this monster out of the way, you’ll have a little space and gain a little confidence. Keep going.