Your hobbies will save you
Machines can make things — but making things by hand will never be obsolete. (Image by monicore)
There is nothing better than being deeply absorbed in an activity.
Whether it’s in an athletic pursuit, an intense conversation, or repairing something, the rest of the world drops away. You have only the moment and the task at hand.
If my plane is delayed for an hour or two, no problem. It’s okay — I have my knitting. Empires could crumble, and I’d just keep stitching contentedly, glancing up now and then to check on things.
Such a level of engagement is a balm for worry, stress, and anxiety. It gives meaning to our days and brings peace and well-being to our lives. It’s a key skill — and I believe that it is a critical skill in the current era. It makes all the difference between suffering and thriving in this pandemic, at least for those of us who have the luxury of time at home. If you don’t have hobbies, get yourself some — and help your kids develop theirs.
The things we enjoy are arbitrary and perhaps even a bit private. When I love a song, I’m going to listen to it dozens of times in a row, attempting to explore every nuance and understand what makes it work. When I am working on a puzzle, hours will go by. I’m all in, resulting in moments that would be utterly unglamorous on social media. My obsessive interest in one project would be boring and inscrutable to the outside observer.
There’s nothing wrong with keeping your most treasured pastimes to yourself. However, that might mean that others don’t see the work that goes into being really good at something. It’s all hidden. As a result, would-be enthusiasts of a particular activity might give up long before they’ve put adequate work into it, assuming they just don’t have the talent. Alternatively, those who catch the spark might believe (or be told by others) that they are spending too much time on the activity and they should work at being well-rounded — or spend their time on something that has more value.
To reach mastery in any arena, we need to let go of these misconceptions. When we let ourselves dig deep and really put effort into something, it pays off. We will always get better. This creates a virtuous cycle in which we want to continue to put our energy and effort into it. When you’ve played same song or read the same story ten times, that’s the beginning. It’s not weird or aberrant. It’s how we learn.
Toddlers vividly demonstrate these principles. They are always learning, always experimenting. “If I put the blue block on top of the red block, what will happen? What if I put the green cup on top? What if I then hit the green cup with this plastic hammer?” They are easily engrossed in their activities and do not require coaching or instructions. When they get their fill, they move on to the next thing — but not before they’ve repeated ad nauseam a cycle that would be very dull to anyone older.
Meanwhile, preschoolers want to read the same book over and over, a second grader is super into learning all of the state capitals, and the sixth grader is intent on flipping a skateboard without scraping her knees. We find just the right thing at the right time, and it’s a joy.
It is my belief that kids’ hobbies are more important than their schoolwork most of the time. That’s where they learn how to be resourceful, how to challenge themselves just the right amount, and how to stick with things. They resolve important questions of identity (“Who am I? I’m a coder. I’m a soccer player.”) and find happiness and joy even when the world feels like it’s ending. Their hobbies might even pave the way for their careers, but that doesn’t have to be the reason. It shouldn’t be. In fact, hobbies are best without any reason at all.
Amidst the insanity and chaos of modern life, find a hobby. Let it fill your hours, your days, your mind. You’ll know you’ve picked the right hobby when life suddenly seems too short to do all of the things you want to do. When you wonder how you ever could have been bored. When you don’t mind staying home. When you have hope for the future despite the scary times.
Have fun. Share your passion with your kids. Make space for them to find their own thing, too, as silly as their interests might seem to you. Play together, and watch life change for you and your family, no matter what’s going on out there.
