There is nothing better than being deeply absorbed in an activity.

Whether it’s in an athletic pursuit, an intense conversation, or repairing something, the rest of the world drops away. You have only the moment and the task at hand.

If my plane is delayed for an hour or two, no problem. It’s okay — I have my knitting. Empires could crumble, and I’d just keep stitching contentedly, glancing up now and then to check on things.

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It takes a few weeks for some students to get used to working online.

Ernie, who hates to ask for help, claimed to have worked six hours one day in his first week online, when the evidence showed clearly that he poked his head up at 2 PM, dabbled in some schoolwork, and then went back underground 30 minutes later. When he showed up on Zoom calls, he was listless.

These kinds of avoidant behaviors are normal at first, even when life isn’t in complete upheaval. If we have always been monitored closely, we have to figure out how to get work done when no one’s looking. We have to gather our own motivation. And once we’ve done this, instead of waiting for help to arrive, we might be determined to find a way through a problem ourselves.

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I talk to so many people who express regret over not having learned to play a musical instrument.

However, this regret is not enough to lead them to learn one now. They feel as though it’s too late.

Well, sure, if you start learning piano today, you’re probably not going to catch up to Elton John. However, you may really enjoy learning how to play your first chords. Within weeks, you could be playing a version of “Rocket Man” that’s good enough to bring out at a family gathering.

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Years ago, I was training a new employee. She wanted to improve a particular skill, so I recommended a book on the subject. 

Weeks later, she asked a related question. “What about that book I recommended?” I asked. 

“I’m reading it,” she said. 

In that moment, I learned something important about communicating my expectations. I had thought she would spend an afternoon or two reading the book to quickly learn and implement the material; however, she was actually reading two or three pages a night before bed. 

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It’s one of the questions I get most often from the parents of prospective students: “If there are no grades, how will I know that my child is learning?”

Underlying this question is the assumption that grades measure learning. They do not. A test score, at best, measures mastery — but in reality, grades most often measure conformity and obedience. Did you turn in this work, on time? Did you study these specific things, as you were instructed to, for the test? If yes, good grades; if not, poor grades, regardless of whether you already knew the material.

To measure learning, you actually need to measure growth. To do this, you would need to compare two work samples which illustrate a student’s ability or knowledge, one from prior to the supposed learning, and one from after.

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