What you can't see

I’m always amazed at the difference that lighting makes. It seems magic, but I know it’s not. (Image by wei zhu)

I have a really hard time visualizing a room as it could be.

I can imagine rearranging furnishings in a different way, but it's difficult for me to imagine furnishings that aren't already there. I agonize over paint and textile colors. What's more, it's almost impossible for me to picture options for remodeling.

When it comes to interior design, I see only what is there. I would have to rely on someone like my friend Antonia to be able to see what could be done to create a more pleasant, attractive, and livable space.

On the other hand, when it comes to business strategy, I can more easily see what is not there. I can imagine six different potential paths forward on behalf of a client or even myself. Like the lines of a game of chess that result from a given move, I can hold multiple futures and shift between them.

I believe that we all have different strengths for a reason. Certainly, we are born with different capacities. As we develop these capacities, it makes sense that we would gravitate toward developing those that are already the strongest.

The tricky part is that we might not recognize where we're lacking because we don't have a frame of reference for it. Like a color blind person who has never experienced the distinction between red and green, a certain skill set may be such a small part of our worldview that we don't value it. To us, it doesn't even exist. Therefore, we don't realize that it might be someone else's strength.

At the same time, we might take for granted the areas where we are especially strong, not realizing that others don't have the same skills as we do.

Due to this strange invisibility of our own strengths and weaknesses, we have a diminished problem-solving repertoire. When we can recognize that our weak areas present opportunities for others to contribute, the quality of our life gets better.

And when we can see that our strengths are unique, we can make our own contribution in a more meaningful way. Instead of assuming that everyone else can do what we can do, we can step forward and offer our special talent.

I recently came across an article from a successful writer claiming that writing coaches are unnecessary and charge too much money. This guy made it obvious that he does not need a coach. He is already really good at the things that a coach or developmental editor might help with: Creating a plan, sprucing up a plot, and sticking with the work. He expressed regret over the fact that he says no whenever he's asked to coach someone, but the truth is that he'd rather be writing.

This author was undervaluing the expertise that writing coaches provide because he couldn't imagine needing their services.

For someone who has never written a book, a writing coach might be just the thing. It's okay if this guy wants to write instead of providing that service. Chances are, because the work of writing comes so naturally to him, he wouldn't be that effective a writing coach, anyway. He should write, and someone else can fill the role of coach. We all have different strengths. That's the beauty of humanity.

If I wanted to challenge myself, I could work on my interior design skills. However, I'm likely to make only incremental improvements. My only good moves would be Pinterest clichés copied from other people, like pretty bookshelves organized by color, textured throw pillows, or a busy art wall. If I truly want a beautiful space and not just a personal challenge, I should call a professional.

There's nothing wrong with seeking to grow and improve on your own. But if you're frustrated and don't feel like you're getting anywhere, it may be that you're more focused on your weaknesses than your strengths.

If you focus on your strengths, you will see results faster and your work (and probably life) will be more enjoyable. You will be more helpful to others with less effort.

And if you want to make someone's day, get them to help you with the areas where you are weak and they are strong.

Whatever you can't see, there's someone else who sees it clearly. And what you can see is a precious gift that is yours to share. Make the most of it.