40 ways to make me wary
There’s nothing wrong with using gimmicks, and there’s nothing wrong with not using gimmicks. (John Margolies, Library of Congress)
I checked out the website of a guy who helps people to improve their money mindset.
Amidst the elevated, abundance-oriented language, there was one of those clickbaity headlines promising “40 ways to make more money” or something. I clicked, thinking that the article might help me understand more about this person's unique perspective.
Instead, it had the same kind of lowbrow advice you'd find anywhere else. I'm not kidding, driving for Uber was on the list. And selling your jewelry to a pawn shop.
Instantly, my respect for this person's brand plummeted. It was so surprising to me that this person who advocates for abundance would be so desperate for eyeballs that he would post an article like this.
Another person, whose marketing advice I had once trusted, who used to write with a thoughtful, incisive voice, has taken to writing blog posts that have only one sentence per line.
Like this.
It's almost as though he thinks his audience is stupid.
He used to have a unique voice.
But not anymore.
I'm sure people use this technique because it works, in the sense that it makes people hang in long enough to buy. And maybe it's worth it to dumb down your brand if you get the results you're looking for in the short term.
But these lowest-common-denominator tactics come at a cost. If you chase the people who want things to be easy, that's who you'll get. And you'll lose the people (like me) who are turned off by that.
The best advice helps you to grow—to become a different person as you learn new things. However, lots of the advice out there for everything from marketing to dating (which is a kind of marketing) to applying for jobs (which is a kind of dating) essentially encourages you to pretend to be a different person.
I believe that in the long run, putting on an act is not going to help you to find the connections you're looking for. If a trick helps you to engage people who like the version of yourself that you've constructed, you're probably going to have to keep that up forever.
You shouldn't necessarily take advice on marketing, dating, or applying for jobs from me. I have no proof that these guys I'm critiquing above aren't blissfully happy. Maybe their tactics are giving them exactly what they want.
But if, like me, you look at this stuff and feel a bit queasy, I want to say to you: You're allowed to do things your way. You're even allowed to do them the "wrong way." When you operate in alignment with your values, you will turn people off, but you might also attract people who share your values—people who are relieved to find you in a noisy world.
When I find someone I trust, I am grateful. Whether it's a friend, colleague, or mentor, I revel in the recognition of shared values or a shared worldview. I don't seek people who are exactly like me, but I do appreciate people who aren't trying to be like everyone else.
Even if I'm encountering the work of someone I don't know personally, I feel a thrill when I hear them share a construct I haven't heard anywhere else or they explain a familiar idea in a new way. To me, that is a lot more valuable than "101 ways to make people pay attention to you," even if I don't fully understand the concept at first.
It's so disappointing when someone I thought I could connect with turns out to be a huckster or a phony, or simply a person with different values. But that's why it's so special when I find an artist, thought leader, or friend who "gets it." It's worth the false starts and blind alleys and confusion. When I find people I click with, I can ignore the stuff that feels spammy or scammy to me. I can focus on what feels fresh, inspiring, and real.
Connecting with people on a human level is what gives meaning to my life, and I'm grateful for the connections I have with people like you. It's good just to know you're out there. I can let go of the ones who I don’t really align with and let them do their thing.
