A different kind of role model
“I was the dreamweaver
But now I'm reborn
I was the walrus, but now I'm John
And so, dear friends
You'll just have to carry on
The dream is over.” - John Lennon
(Image by Image by aalmeidah)
Being Gen X is funny. There are so few of us.
I grew up on Baby Boomer culture—the music, the TV ads, the general worldview—and now find my life dominated by the culture of Millennials (no thanks, Mark Zuckerberg, for Facebook) and Gen Z. The rules are changing fast, and my generation is not the one that is changing them.
It’s fascinating to watch top athletes like Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles (both Gen Z) decide to do what they want instead of what’s expected of them. I can’t imagine this happening a decade ago: young athletes speaking out about their mental health and choosing not to compete.
All of a sudden, the idea that a young woman should compromise her mental health for her career, unquestioned for decades, seems absurd. Some of the longstanding power structures that have allowed individuals and institutions to abuse and exploit young people, women, and people of color are finally being reevaluated and reckoned with.
There is always resistance to change, and this new way of seeing isn’t sitting well with everyone. What about heroism? What about pushing through in the face of a challenge? Isn’t that what a star athlete does? What about physical and mental toughness? What about the team?
The beautiful thing is that if you are fortunate enough to have personal and political freedom, you can do whatever you want. You only have to be willing to face the consequences of your actions. You get to choose whether it’s worth it to you.
It’s inspiring to see someone like Simone Biles, not only one of the most renowned gymnasts of all time but also a survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of a predator at USA Gymnastics, prioritize her own well-being and speak up for herself. No longer suffering in shame and silence and also refusing to “take one for the team,” she’s becoming a different kind of role model.
Even Britney Spears, who does not have personal freedom under the restrictions of her conservatorship arrangement, told the world what she’s been going through. Sharing such personal details of one’s life shouldn’t be necessary, but she was willing to take that step in order to regain control of her person. We knew all about what happened to Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, and countless others after they died; Britney is actually taking charge of her own narrative and her own experience before it’s too late. She’s willing to face the consequences of this choice. The lack of privacy is worth the possibility of an end to her nightmare.
The culture of pretending everything is okay even when it’s not has worked for generations to keep certain people in power and maintain the status quo. As a kid, I couldn’t have envisioned an end to it; I didn’t have the imagination to think past the culture I was part of. It’s exciting, now, that so many people are refusing to keep secrets, refusing to be complicit in keeping secrets, and refusing to pretend. I feel hopeful that in the coming years, we can work together not only to end the culture of pretending but to dismantle the frameworks that allow it to take root in the first place. The young people who are willing to go against what is expected of them and face the repercussions are heroic after all.
Most of us have choices that we dismiss or aren’t even aware of. We have far more within our reach if we acknowledge that we could make a choice if only we could tolerate the consequences. As more of us push against the way things are, realizing that they don’t have to be that way, it becomes easier to summon the courage to do the scary thing that promises to bring healing and honesty to our lives. It becomes easier to tell the truth about who we are, what we want, what we stand for, and what we will not stand for anymore.
