Time is on your side (yes, it is)

What’s next? (Image by pasja1000)

There are two problems that we have with time (okay, there are probably more, but let me just sound like I know what I’m talking about).

The first is the day-to-day struggle of having enough time to fit things into our schedule. The second is the long-term struggle of feeling like it’s too late to start — that life has passed us by.

Both of these problems are illusory. They are based on feelings — that is, emotions and perceptions — rather than reality. And conveniently, they are both solved the same way.

As usual, we can look to children to get insights into our own thought processes. I’ll offer two examples from teaching piano lessons to six-year-olds.

When it comes to being overloaded and having too much going on in the week, I can relate. I used to work twelve-hour days, plus another eight or ten hour day each Saturday. I was teaching music lessons and running my music school. I was burnt out, exhausted, and saw no way out. There was no time for me — or so I thought.

With this as my context, I would start a lesson by asking a student, “So, did you get a chance to play this week?”

“No,” she’d reply. “We had to take Grandma to the airport.”

Imagine my frustration. To me, this kid had all the time in the world, and she couldn’t see it. Obviously, the whole week was not consumed by one trip to the airport. But to her, this told the whole story.

Well, my thirty-year-old brain was not much more effective at processing time. I was letting my whole week be consumed by “work,” which gave me a convenient out, too. I wasn’t paying attention to what that work was made of: the things I could delegate, eliminate, or alter in order to cut down the time spent. Once I did undertake this analysis, things changed radically for me.

If you are extremely busy and don’t have time for something you want to do, I encourage you to think about what your “we had to take Grandma to the airport” story is. What is the all-consuming force in your life that has made it impossible for you to pursue your desired activity? What would happen if you spent ten minutes doing that activity today, even though there’s no time?

My second example addresses the pain of feeling too old to begin. A six-year-old (a different one) sat on my piano bench and wailed that it was too late for him to learn piano. It wasn’t. But that’s how it felt to him.

Here’s the kicker — that was eighteen years ago. Can you think of something you wish you had started eighteen years ago? I know I can. At the time, I probably already felt like it was too late to do whatever it was. But it wasn’t — and it still isn’t. What would happen if you spent ten minutes today pursuing an activity that you’d like to invest in?

What I’ve learned from these little kids — and from my own struggles — is that none of these feelings about time are rational. However, that doesn’t mean they aren’t valid. They are useful guides on our path in life, letting us know what’s important to us. I have found that the pain of the passage of time is less acute if I make it a point to do the things I’m afraid I won’t have time to do.

Writing, making art, spending time with family, starting a business, learning a sport, reading…whatever it is, you can make time for it. And making a little time for it every day adds up. Plus, it builds momentum and gives you the confidence to invest more time as you go forward. You begin to experience a satisfying identity shift as a result of living your life in greater alignment with who you want to be.

None of us has forever, but we do have right now. And that’s enough.

What are you longing to have time for? What would you do if it weren’t too late? What support do you need to move forward?