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There were a number of years where I dreaded opening my email inbox.
I just never knew who was going to have a problem that was my fault.
The fear went away — but the emails demanding my attention didn’t. There is almost always someone upset with me now, and I’ve learned to live with it.
Read MoreIn the 1997 film Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Austin Powers and his sidekick, Vanessa Kensington (played by Mike Myers and Elizabeth Hurley, respectively) are operating a steamroller for reasons I don’t recall. Meanwhile, a security officer stands in the path of the slow-moving steamroller, facing his inevitable death.
The gag, of course, is that this guy has all the time in the world to get out of the path of the steamroller, but he doesn’t.
I think of this bit surprisingly often because it is the perfect metaphor for most of the poor decisions I’ve made. While I was doing the thing, however well-meaning it was, I knew I shouldn’t have been doing it. I saw a mile away that it wasn’t going to be a good idea, and yet I didn’t course correct.
Read MoreWhen I was a freshman in college, my vocal instructor was about to accompany me on one of the Schubert Lieder when he suddenly turned around and asked me how old I was.
“Nineteen,” I said.
"When Franz Schubert was nineteen, he’d already written a hundred songs,” said my instructor pointedly. “How many songs have you written?” He lifted an eyebrow and gave a self-satisfied smile, then commenced the tune without waiting for an answer.
Read MoreAs I look over my misspent life — in those moments when it feels like I’ve had a misspent life — I can come up with a long list of things I wish I had done, and nagging regrets about the things I did.
Some of these things are impossible to do anything about (damn biological clock), but some of them are things I can begin to resolve today, if I would stop being so morose.
Read MoreIt’s happened with almost every one of my nieces and nephews: My mom and I are visiting a beloved baby, and said baby realizes his mother has left the room. He looks from his grandmother to his aunt with rising panic. “Who are these people? Where is my mother?” His face crumples and he begins to wail, inconsolable.
It’s so cute and sad. The baby cannot possibly comprehend the depth of our love. He can’t imagine the lengths we would go to protect him from harm or see to his needs. He doesn’t understand that he’s hanging out with two people who will be unconditionally devoted to him forever. All he sees is his own fear. He just wants mom.
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