It seems like it would make sense for things to be fair and equal.

You and your three collaborators on that presentation at work (or that seventh grade social studies project).

You and your sibling. You and your partner. You and your fellow senator.

Even though it seems like it would make sense for things to be fair and equal, however, keeping things equal is tricky.

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In the 2006 Oscar-winning film Little Miss Sunshine, Greg Kinnear plays Richard, a washed up life coach of some kind. Richard teaches a framework called the “9 Steps” that he clings to, believing in its potential for transformation despite the fact that his own results are mediocre. Kinnear strikes just the right balance of pathos and comedy in his portrayal of a man who can’t even get himself to buy his own BS.

I really don’t want to be a Richard. I think a lot of us are afraid of being a Richard. And yet, we want to make a contribution to the world or at least share our ideas and creative work. How do we reconcile this desire with the fear that perhaps we’ve only deluded ourselves into thinking that we have something to offer?

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Every couple of years, my father does battle with the humid, salty coastal air to painstakingly, single-handedly repaint his entire cedar-sided home.

And every step of the way, he wants to show off his progress. “Come look!” If I am not available for a physical audience, I will get a report by phone of which sections have been done since we last spoke.

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I still remember something my friend Weston shared over a meal years ago.

I had asked Weston, a gifted musician and the singer/songwriter behind Ayo River, how he avoided getting creatively frustrated. His songs always seemed to flow from a deep place within him, free of self-consciousness and artifice. Prolific and generous with his work, he made it look easy. How did he do it?

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I didn’t realize the extent to which some kids face pressure to excel until I moved to a major city and began to work with affluent families there.

Though these kids enjoyed certain privileges and choices that I had not had, they were also expected to follow a certain path in life. They were expected to be exceptional students and go to exceptional colleges.

Presumably, to have exceptional lives.

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