Like a lot of people, I can get lost in my phone.

I’ve noticed that this happens most often when I’m tired—first thing in the morning, late in the evening, or when I’m finishing up an onerous chore and wondering what to do next. The default “next” is to pick up my phone if I’m not being thoughtful about how I’m spending my time.

My phone—or any other quick source of dopamine— can easily mask what I really want. It can even make me forget what I wanted. In my pursuit of the short-term reward, the long-term gets lost. This may be a means of finding pleasure, but it’s no recipe for joy.

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In 2008, I felt like a weirdo.

I was running a business and didn’t know what I was doing, even though I had read every book I could find to help me. That’s not because I was failing; rather, I was starting to progress past the point where general advice could apply.

Plus, I had read Tim Ferriss’ The Four Hour Work Week, which got me fantasizing about a life in which I could travel around the world, working from anywhere. But that felt like something I should keep to myself. Sharing my ambitions felt like a swift way to destroy my career as a neighborhood music teacher.

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I dreamed that there was some kind of apocalyptic event that was dramatically changing society (a different one than the one that actually did, I guess), and I was attempting to leave an apartment in the city and head out to the country (I think to be better positioned to live life off the grid?).

Even though the logic of the dream was not exactly solid, I remember feeling conflicted. I was aware that what was most important for my old life (laptop, phone, nice clothes) was not relevant for my new life. I also didn’t know whether I’d ever be back. If my trip was just temporary, I needed to spend more time preparing my space instead of just abandoning it.

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I saw my dad’s Harmony six-string sitting there in the corner, festooned with its array of balloon stickers and the ancient Venus and Mars sticker that came with the LP of the same name.

It was the first guitar I ever played, a satisfying little instrument even though it had had its neck snapped off when it was backed over by a pickup truck.

But my guitar calluses have lately been replaced by rowing ones. Music is no longer a big part of my daily work, so I haven’t been playing on the job the way I used to. As a result, days go by when I don’t pick up a guitar.

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Watching over the shoulders of gamer friends and relatives as they choose their avatars for the journey ahead, I’ve learned about the tradeoffs involved.

You can have strength, agility, stamina, or cunning — but not all four to the same degree. Each option has its vulnerabilities and advantages. You’ve got to make decisions about what will be most useful to you, based on your own unique playing style and preferences.

Kinda like life, right? Except in life, some of us get the idea somewhere that we’re supposed to be good at everything and that there shouldn’t be any tradeoffs.

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