Be it now
Summer isn’t summer without a lake swim. (Image by kerttu)
I saw my dad’s Harmony six-string sitting there in the corner, festooned with its array of balloon stickers and the ancient Venus and Mars sticker that came with the LP of the same name.
It was the first guitar I ever played, a satisfying little instrument even though it had had its neck snapped off when it was backed over by a pickup truck.
But my guitar calluses have lately been replaced by rowing ones. Music is no longer a big part of my daily work, so I haven’t been playing on the job the way I used to. As a result, days go by when I don’t pick up a guitar.
I looked at the Harmony, thinking about this and considering the big questions that sometimes come up. Who am I if I’m not a musician? What is holding me back from playing and writing? How can I make more time for music in my life?
And then I realized that it was a bit silly to make it such a big deal. I picked up the guitar and played a bit of the first song that came to mind, “Mother Nature’s Son” off of the White Album. And then I got back to work.
If I’m playing music, I’m a musician. Might as well play music. Might as well be the thing I want to be, right now, instead of fretting about it.
Life is full of these shortcuts if I don’t overthink it. I can be a healthy eater. I can be a person who supports causes I care about. I can be a generous friend. I can be an athlete. I can be someone who turns paperwork in on time. So many things I can be, simply by taking the necessary action to overturn the angst and imaginary obstacles in my way.
I can be a singer by singing, a writer by writing, a golfer by golfing, an artist by making art. For so many things, there are no prerequisites and no thresholds. Who I am and who I become is up to me. It’s not necessary to evaluate my fitness for a particular identity or label based on the output of my activity—I can focus on the activity itself as evidence of who I am.
If I play the guitar, then I am a guitarist. Therefore, if I want to be a guitarist, all I have to do is play the guitar. It’s so simple, and yet I know I’m not the only one who gets lost in this basic syllogism. So many people sign up for guitar lessons, and then fail to play. “I’m so sorry. I haven’t touched it. I’ve been so busy with work, and then I had in-laws in town…” It doesn’t make sense, does it? Most people who want to play the guitar just don’t. Including me, apparently.
No—I played “Mother Nature’s Son.” And I can play a whole bunch of other songs if I am willing to let myself. If I will only pick up the darn thing and put my fingers on it and strum. That’s all there is to it.
I have a vegetable garden for the first time since sixth grade. That was a long hiatus from growing my own food, but I’m doing it now. There are other things I’d like to pick back up on, and new things I’d like to try. Life is too short to do everything, but I can make space for anything that is important to me. I don’t have to earn it, I don’t have to prove anything to anyone, and I don’t have to wait. I can be what I want to be, today, right now. I bet you can, too.
