I kind of know what I’m doing

That looks scary, so I’ll just keep climbing over here. (Image by Claudia Beyli)

I’m doing some new things that feel big to me.

I’m consulting with a brand, helping them develop their TikTok presence.

I applied to give a talk at an upcoming conference — and shortly thereafter, I received an email from the conference organizer, inviting me to speak (she didn’t know I had applied).

I’m continuing to support small business leaders, helping them to be more effective in their strategy and marketing.

So naturally, it’s crossed my mind that I’m full of crap and nobody should listen to me. Darn imposter syndrome!

Realistically, I know that I’m qualified to do what I’m doing, and there are no gatekeepers anyway. I try not to represent myself as someone who has all the answers because I certainly don’t. What I have to remind myself is that I don’t need to have all the answers to be helpful.

It’s weird, though, navigating a space with so much uncertainty. It used to be that I spent my days teaching people how to play music. While there were still variables that added complexity, I understood the ins and outs of music theory, songwriting, piano pedagogy, and so on. And then I taught math, which, though abstract at the higher levels, is still pretty concrete compared to advising someone about their business and marketing.

I mean, I can barely figure out my own marketing. I can’t predict what people will like. The other day, I spent over two hours editing a video that I was sure would be well received. Well, 24 hours after its release, it sat at around 500 views, and the retention curve for viewers forms a slope no mortal could ski down. Shows what I know.

That said, if I’ve been studying this stuff obsessively and I’m still often surprised by the results of my experiments, then maybe this stuff is actually pretty complicated. In any case, I’m enjoying the learning process.

I miss when I could watch videos and read books and believe that the “experts” knew what they were talking about. Sometimes, they do, but I see too much now. I know that the advice they are offering is something that will only work under certain circumstances. I know that they are leaving out important details. I know that they might even wholeheartedly believe what they are teaching/selling, but that doesn’t make it correct.

So am I doing the same thing? It’s circular. I don’t want to be too harsh on my fellow creators, knowing that they’re (hopefully) out here doing the best they can, just like I am.

Then again, choosing not to criticize them doesn’t make me correct in the things I’m spouting off about. But there’s no one to check with to make sure that I’m right.

That’s not to say that I’m alone. I have realized, though, that I don’t fit in with the marketing people. I’m not really that into marketing, in fact. Or business strategy for its own sake. What I’m truly interested in is helping people to share their ideas and put themselves out there regardless of what the “right” way is to do it. Helping them to execute confidently on their projects. Supporting them as they remove the barriers to following through on what they care about and what they hope to achieve.

That, I can do. That’s a path, like songwriting, where I know the way. I don’t know the way to fame and fortune, but I know the way to bringing something into the world that satisfies you — and then doing it again and again, each time getting closer and closer to the vision you have in your head. That’s what I’m here for.

In a sense, I’m doing the same thing with my career itself: exploring, testing, iterating, adjusting, validating. I’m figuring out what I can do best and where I can feel most confident. That may mean letting go of some of the things I’m doing now and going deeper into others.

Along the way, it’s important to me to share my own experience as a reality check and potential model for those who are following along. So here I am, doing that. I hope it’s useful for you. I know it’s useful for me. Thank you so much for reading.