Homeostasis

They probably didn’t stay like this for long. (Image by Frank Winkler)

This week, a friend recommended a book.

Not just a book, but an author, complete with an entire platform.

When I checked her out, I remembered that another friend had already recommended her work to me.

And just as before, I just didn’t click with it. Too corporate.

I felt a little bad about that, like I wasn’t being open-minded. But, on the other hand, do I really have to read this person’s entire book to understand her point of view? No. That’s the point of her website, her online content, et cetera. It’s a realistic preview, and to me, it was a turnoff.

After I got done feeling bad, I started feeling pretty good. I was pleased to observe that I’m not desperately pursuing every recommendation in the hopes that it will change my life. I don’t feel the need to assimilate every new idea like I used to.

That doesn’t mean that I’m not investigating new ideas at all. Rather, I aim for homeostasis, where there is a stable relationship between what goes in and what goes out.

I am always meeting new people and encountering new ideas, but I’m also taking the time to reflect on my own ideas and share them. And as I get more confident in my own ideas, I have less room for outside ideas that don’t fit my values.

For instance, I believe in the power of making tiny changes over time, but I don’t believe in continuous improvement as a philosophy. Too much pressure.

I enjoy finding the nuances in existing ideas and the connections between them. Adding new ideas is necessary for this process to take place, but I carefully control my exposure.

That’s because reading someone’s nonfiction book is like adding a bunch of cold water to the bath. It’s welcome if the water is too hot, but if the water is already the perfect temperature, it’s going be disruptive.

Isn’t disruption the point of reading a book? Isn’t it supposed to challenge your existing ideas? Yes. But everything in moderation.

If I were to arrive at homeostasis by letting nothing in and nothing out, well...that’s how a person gets old and out of touch. No new ideas, no new self-expression, just watching the same old thing on the TV and talking to the same old people.

So there is flow built into my system, but it’s regulated. Because when all I did was let inputs wash over me, I was just bobbing around in the current. As a young person, I was easily swayed by other people’s opinions, life philosophies, and lifestyles. I was influenced by what, according to other people, was the right way to do things and the correct way to think. It was only when I slowed down the volume of what was coming in that I could choose which things to pay attention to and establish my own beliefs and practices.

I’m sure that I could get something out of the book that was recommended to me. But there are so many books. I can get something out the books I’m already reading, the podcasts I’m listening to, and the videos I’m watching. I can get something out of the conversations I’m having with the hundreds of people I interact with each week.

To make room for all of that, I seek to give something, too. I hope it is valuable to people. But if it’s not what they want or if they just don’t have room to receive it right now, that’s okay. Believe me, I get it.