Gleaning from the galling

Life’s too short to read them all anyway. Might as well focus on the ones you like. (Image by Oli Götting)

I haven’t taken too many guitar lessons in my life. Though I spent years as a guitar teacher, ironically, I’m mostly self-taught.

Almost every teacher I tried did that thing where you pick up the guitar and do a fast run to show off.

No piano teacher I ever had did this. It must be something about having the instrument in your hand, just begging to be played.

I managed to restrain myself from this habit as a guitar teacher (I hope). I found it off-putting and, frankly, macho.

You see this kind of behavior in the intros of the YouTube videos of lots of guitar teachers, too. I tend to click away.

I have no doubt that the fact that I was intimidated, unnerved, and annoyed by the noodling of these various guitar teachers slowed my own progress as a guitarist. If I could have overlooked this habit, I might have been able to stick with a teacher who might have helped me.

Most of us have a rich history of putting up with teachers we wouldn’t have chosen. Some of these teachers we learned to love, or at least respect. Some of them never won us over. Some of them weren’t very good at their jobs.

Once out of school, we don’t have to tolerate teachers we don’t connect with. However, many of us dutifully do it anyway, in the name of gleaning as much information as we can from whatever source we can (especially if it’s free).

The benefit of this is that, just like in college, we get to be exposed to new ideas and have our beliefs challenged. Sometimes, someone that we find personally abrasive is the best person to do that.

However, the downside is that we might wind up confused, discouraged, and disconnected from our values. Over time, we might pick up some of the qualities we believed to be reprehensible.

Recently, I cleaned up my podcast library. I had subscribed to a lot of programs in the name of research or education that, honestly, I really didn’t like.

It was a relief to let go of them. The risk is that I miss out on some specific perspective or information that I won’t be able to find anywhere else. I am willing to take that risk in order to surround myself with inputs that don’t cause me to argue with a person who’s not even in the room.

Having said no to these podcasts that conflicted with my values or sensibilities, I am now free to find new influences that are more closely aligned — not only with who I am now, but who I’d like to become.

In the past, I have faced pressure from unscrupulous people suggesting that to go in a different direction from theirs would be a move lacking in integrity. I now understand that this was manipulative and unfair. I don’t want to learn from or collaborate with someone like that, and I never want to put one of my students or clients in that position.

There is a balance between seeking new ideas and building on the old ones. I’m not worried about getting stuck in an echo chamber of voices I already agree with. All I’m doing is moving on from some of the voices I’ve already heard. I’ve given them a chance. They made me think. They helped me to get clear on what I believe and what I stand for. And now, it’s time to recognize that they are not for me.

Maybe somebody else is into all of that noodling.