You can come to enjoy the things you dread

As much as I dread paperwork, I do like typing. (George Eastman Museum)

I started rowing due to peer pressure.

The only people I knew in my new city were rowers, so I took up rowing. That was fine with me — I love early mornings, being on the water, and working as part of a team.

I didn’t love rowing, though. Not at first. It was confusing, physically demanding, and even a little bit painful (blisters upon blisters). And if I messed up particularly badly, I might unwittingly toss a half dozen people into the sea.

I stuck with it, however. Three times a week, I experienced the discomfort of not knowing what I was doing, making mistakes publicly, and receiving feedback that I struggled to implement.

And lo and behold, a day came — last week — when it all clicked. I found the rhythm. I didn’t have to watch my oar dip into the water the whole time — I could look at the scenery. My muscles weren’t exhausted. I wasn’t just waiting for it to be over. It was…fun. It was relaxing.

I did things I wouldn’t have thought I could. One day, I was one of only two rowers — and it wasn’t a big deal! Another day, I was “stroke,” meaning that I set the pace for the rest of the group and everyone was following me. And I did it!

I still have plenty to learn to refine and build on my skills. However, I’m past the point of pain. Everything is easier. I’m now eager to get into the boat for each rowing session to improve as a rower and experience the endorphins.

If there’s any message that I have for the learners of the world, it is this: You can come to enjoy the things you dread. Whether it is reading or writing or running or thinking, you can get better — and you may surprise yourself by getting the most pleasure out of the subject that once caused you the most distress.

When you stick with something long enough and work at it consistently enough, it is inevitable that you will begin to exceed your previous level of performance. This leads to a strong desire to continue to grow. What once seemed so difficult now feels easy and automatic; thanks to dopamine and other neurochemicals, you might even become a little addicted to that sense of accomplishment, increasing your motivation even further. This is the classic virtuous cycle that fuels top performers of all kinds, and it is within reach of all of us if we’re willing to push through the initial frustration of learning a new skill.

No matter how boring or unrewarding an activity seems, there is someone who became so passionate about it that they spent a lifetime pursuing it and wrote a book about it. If you give it a chance, you could get hooked, too. In this way, you can trick yourself into being a standout student, athlete, artist, or whatever. You just have to be able to tolerate the unease of not being good at something — at first. It’s up to you.

If you could master any skill, what would you choose? What would make the biggest difference in your life? What do you currently dread that you could begin not to dread? I invite you to share in the comments!