You don't know this because you haven't learned it yet

The International Space Station — a place we go to learn. (NASA)

“I just don’t remember learning this,” the student said in frustration, slumping over her math book.

My colleague could only say the truth, as absurd as it sounded. “You don’t remember learning this because you’ve…never learned it before. This is the first time.”

After a couple of years of reviewing and remediating, it was hard for this student to see that the concepts in front of her were new. It required a shift in attitude from her: Instead of a determination to persist even though she felt like she “should already know this by now,” she now had to adopt a sense of curiosity and openness to the unfamiliar.

I’ve come to see that this student’s experience is common. When school comes easily to us, we might not encounter much that’s truly new until high school. On the other hand, those of us who struggled in school become, like the student above, accustomed to rehashing the same old stuff that everyone else seems to already understand.

Therefore, whether school was easy or painful for us, we enter unfamiliar situations assuming that we should already know how to deal with them. We encounter unfamiliar ideas believing that we should already understand them.

As a result, we may miss the opportunity to learn deeply. We’ll neglect to ask questions to enhance our understanding. We may look at things through the lens of what we know instead of seeing them on their own terms, thereby missing key details. We may shy away from the unfamiliar, steering conversations back to what we’re comfortable with or reframing things in order to make ourselves look good.

When we can’t avoid engaging with something we don’t know, we might find ourselves making excuses instead of listening and learning. To not know is to be stupid, and to be stupid is unacceptable. It becomes more important to find our way out of that feeling than to grow and gain new knowledge.

Though these habits are ingrained, we can change. We can accept the fact that we don’t know everything and embrace the opportunity for growth that represents. We can come to see that the only way to overcome ignorance is to first recognize its existence without allowing it to define us. In other words, when we admit that we’re ignorant about something, we are making space to learn about it. We don’t have to make that ignorance a permanent state and label ourselves as ignorant.

It’s okay not to know stuff. As we get out into the world and try new things, we will get used to not knowing things. Foreign travel is an excellent way to launch ourselves out of the realm of constantly expecting ourselves to know everything, as is starting a new hobby, going new places, and spending time with people from a different background from our own.

When we encounter challenging material, it isn’t a test of our intelligence — and it definitely isn’t a test of our worth as a person. It’s a riddle to be solved, a room to unlock. As we get used to learning — going from not knowing to knowing — the feeling becomes addictive. We want the next puzzle, the next clue. This joy of discovery is one of the best things about being human. Don’t miss out.