Coffee, or a nap?
Sometimes I’m one of the droopy ones. (Image by Hans Linde)
There are a few factors complicating my sleep recently. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
Some combination of the switch to Daylight Saving Time, a new medication, aging, and pandemic anxiety has left me with erratic energy levels and an unpredictable schedule of slumber.
Despite a full night’s sleep, I might be totally exhausted in the middle of the day. In that moment, I’ve got a dilemma: coffee, or a nap?
Each of these options is attractive and tempting in its own way. But they also carry their respective downsides. Coffee makes me hyper and leads to a crash. I also run the risk of messing up my sleep further. A nap is undeniably beneficial, but a nap results in lost productivity and is also likely to mess up my nighttime sleep. What to do?
In lieu of these two possibilities, I’ve lately chosen a third: to slowly and tiredly go through the motions of my day, accepting fatigue and trying not to operate any heavy machinery.
It’s no fun. I don’t like going slowly. I prefer when my mind is agile and alert, not sluggish and enervated. What’s more, I don’t like the physical discomfort of exhaustion. But eventually, mercifully, the day will be over and I can get to bed early.
So often, we find ourselves facing a dilemma because we only took the time to uncover two options. When we dig around, we can come up with a third or a fourth option that is much more attractive. We might even unearth a win-win.
As devoted as I am to this construct, I have to also acknowledge that sometimes, no matter how many choices I come up with, they’ll all be stinkers. That’s when I have to change my lens. I have to think long term instead of short term. I have to question assumptions I’ve made about what I can handle and what is acceptable. Then, I can make a choice that allows me to choose present discomfort over future discomfort, or a temporary sacrifice for a permanent benefit.
In the most challenging situations, I might even have to live with the fact that life isn’t always fair and can be, at times, quite difficult, and none of my choices yield pleasant outcomes. And yet, I can still be okay.
Maybe I’ll do just fine on five hours of sleep, without any intervention. Maybe I can drink some green tea on a given afternoon and experience no problems. Fine. I can solve these small quotidian problems any way I want without experiencing negative consequences. But it’s a lot less likely that I’ll move through my life with no illness, no accidents, and no great losses. Day by day, the little inconveniences, pains, and frustrations I encounter prepare me to deal with the unavoidable and inevitable grief and suffering ahead of me. Instead of trying to steer around them, I can lean into them and learn what they have to teach me.
Today is the last day of the Bahá’í Fast, in which Bahá’ís around the world abstain from food and drink from sunup to sundown each day for nineteen days. These believers create intentional discomfort for themselves as an act of devotion. The spiritual benefits are undeniable, but there are practical ones, too. You learn that things that are difficult are survivable. You learn that something that seems terrible can be joyful. And you learn that you can live without what you thought you needed.
I don’t know what test and trials my life will bring. I don’t even know what tests and trials today will bring. But I will face them, with neither coffee nor a nap. I’ve got some work to do. How about you?
