Exactly as hard as it should be

The Bosphorus is the only sea route from the Black Sea to the Mediterranean. All of the countries have to play nice. (Halit Akkaya)

Sometimes, when I sit down to write, it feels like I'm trying to break into a heavily guarded fortress.

All of the times that was able to write so easily, when the ideas and words flowed smoothly, are no help. They didn't prepare me for this situation.

However, having now experienced the challenge of an elusive muse a number of times, I've got some better tools for dealing with it.

The first is to accept it. It does no good to stand outside the castle walls, whining that it shouldn't be this hard. It is exactly as hard as it should be. This is part of the process.

Once I've accepted the situation, I can relax. I can explore, feeling no pressure or urgency. I'm in no danger.

I remind myself that I can solve this problem. I've done it before, and I'll do it again.

I try the north wall and then the east. I circle around and around, looking for a gap.

Sometimes, taking this kind of action works. I find a way in.

Sometimes, though, taking action just wears me out. I'm just going through the motions, doing my due diligence but not finding anything new.

In those moments, I stop. I close my eyes. I meditate. I wait.

At first, my head is noisy with the problem I'm trying to solve ("What should I write about, what should I write about, what should I write about?"). But eventually, I'm able to quiet my mind.

In this relaxed state, my problem-solving is at its best. When I'm not consciously trying to solve my problem, solutions appear. I see the same old things differently. I create new endings to the same old stories. I make fresh connections and draw different conclusions.

Before long, I have found a way forward. I don't question whether it is the "right" one or the "best" one. There is no arbiter of these things.

I move ahead with the plan, adapting and adjusting as needed. Almost without realizing it, I make it past the fortifications. I'm inside.

Relief gives way to focus as I get down to work. The early resistance has disappeared and there is a sense of flow. Could it be like this all the time? Maybe it is, and I just don't always recognize it.

I expect ideas and entry points to show up on my timetable, as reliably as car parts on an assembly line. It's a helpful metaphor as long as I'm willing to accommodate some variability in the process. I can't panic when the belt isn't moving as fast as I would like.

I've got to be patient, that's all. Because these aren't mufflers and brake rotors, designed and manufactured to my specifications. I'm talking about creating something that hasn't existed before. It makes sense that there may be some discomfort and uncertainty associated with that.

I'll only get frustrated if I believe that something is happening that shouldn't be, or something isn't happening that should. When it comes to creative work, there must be room for wandering, waiting, and iterating. I can rail against it, but I'm better off going with it.