Going according to plan

When you’re crashing later, remember how delightful that cappuccino was. (Image credit)

I have decided that the upcoming semester will be the last at The Little Middle School.

To bring the program to an end as smoothly as possible, I'll be headed down to Atlanta for a few months to work directly with the students and teachers. Covid has been really hard on everyone, and I'll be functioning as a relief pitcher. Or maybe the closer.

Obviously, a move like this brings a lot of cascading personal and professional consequences. I'm going to be away from friends and family and my home in Maine. I'm going to be a bit busier, and some other projects will need to be put on hold.

And in May, this project that has brought me (and hopefully many others) ten years of joy, challenge, and growth will come to a close.

When undertaking a disruptive plan like this, there are sometimes periods of freaking out. I remember the freak-outs I had right when I started The Little Middle School. "What am I doing? What will I do if I don't want to do this anymore down the road? This is so much responsibility!" Back then worked through the fear and anxiety not so much by resolving them but accepting them.

The voice in my head is similarly concerned now. "This is crazy! I'm leaving home for five months! What if I've forgotten how to do this job? What if I get Covid? What if I'm too busy and get overwhelmed?"

I have to remember that I'm following through on a carefully considered decision. Everything is going according to plan, and I will continue to refine the plan as I proceed.

Not every plan is easy and comfortable to execute, and that's where some of us struggle. It's painful when our past self made a decision that our current self has come to regret or resent. We can remind ourselves that we did foresee this result, and but the choice we made was still the best option under the circumstances.

For example, I might hire a couple of employees and then feel a sense of panic as I see their weekly wages go out of my bank account. It feels like something is wrong. But nothing is wrong. This is all part of the plan.

I might find myself homesick and lonely on a solo trip. I'm tired and frustrated and I don't speak the language, and I just want a familiar meal and my own bed. In such a moment, I can remember that this type of uncomfortable growth experience is exactly what I was seeking when I booked the trip in the first place.

We might want to make sure that our business grows with integrity, so we forgo dubious tactics that would yield a fast return. When we get impatient with how slowly things are moving, we ought to remember that this is what we signed up for.

Tired after a long day with a toddler, we might long for peace and quiet or our old career. But the noise and chaos of our current life is the fruition of an intentional plan.

There's no need to be alarmed when we get precisely the results that follow from the actions we've deliberately taken. We don't need to backtrack or question ourselves. We just need to keep doing what we're doing. We can stay oriented toward the long term and remember that we're getting what we once asked for.

If we don't want the same thing anymore, we can adjust accordingly. But this, too, can be done with intention and not just as a reaction to discomfort or fear.

I'm changing the professional course I've been on for a decade and disrupting the daily life I've had for a couple of years. This is hard. It would have been relatively easy to maintain the status quo and keep running the Little Middle School from afar.

I also could have shut it down at the midyear, leaving a handful of staff out of work and a couple of dozen families scrambling to find a school for their kids.

These options wouldn't have required me to relocate and do a daily 6 AM commute. But I didn't want to do it that way. I wanted to do it this way. And I will have to remember, when my alarm rings in the darkness, that my routine is the result of my own choice and something I agreed to beforehand.

I'll have to remember that it's all going according to plan, and in the long run, it's exactly what I want. Maybe that will help me to appreciate and enjoy the immediate experience and make the most of each day, even when it's hard.