"You never told me that!"

Wouldn’t it be great if you could transmit all of your wisdom and experience to your child?

You could help your kid avoid making the same mistakes you made. They would then benefit from your knowledge and make better decisions.

Unfortunately, your can’t just plug your thumb drive into their built-in USB port and transfer your knowledge files.

The download will fail. The ungrateful brats don’t want to listen!

Formal teaching is really no different. Students, even as adults, need to connect bits of information to their own experiences and existing knowledge as they go.

They are a radio — and you have to be broadcasting at the frequency they are tuned to. Otherwise, your waves will just pass right through.

I can’t tell you how many times a student has had a breakthrough on a topic and then said accusingly, “You never told me that!” even though I did “tell them that” at least half a dozen times. They didn’t hear me until they were ready to hear me.

Often, the art of teaching is scrolling through the frequency spectrum until you find your student. You do this by breaking things down different ways, finding different hooks and entry points, all the while building a schematic that shows what’s worked (and what hasn’t).

That’s not to say that everyone has a unique learning style. But determining the right thing at the right time is unique for every learner.

It can be discouraging to see apathy or even active resistance from a person whose life you are trying to change for the better. Or eye rolls and ungratefulness from a person whose life you literally made possible.

Though certain afternoons seem interminable, it won’t always be this way. You never know when the breakthrough will happen and the dynamic will change.

That’s what keeps me going — I hope it will help you, too. Hang in there.