Why some of us succeed and some do not
We have no control over the tides, wind, and weather, but we must take them into account when planning. (Image by Roman Grac)
Have you ever enrolled in a course that you didn’t finish?
I know I have. With online courses, it’s especially easy. It goes along with the books I’ve purchased but never read and the exercise equipment I used once. You just kind of…move on.
Sometimes, dropping out is no big deal. But other times, the results are heartbreaking. Failing to complete high school can limit a person’s job prospects dramatically, and failing to stick to a doctor-recommended diet and exercise regimen can mean the difference between a long, healthy life and a short and miserable one.
Many of us are constantly frustrated by our inability to follow through on things. What can we do about it?
What I have noticed among my students and clients is that those who make a commitment to do the work will succeed no matter what. It’s a simple as that.
Here, however, it’s important to define commitment. Simply enrolling in a course or purchasing a Peloton is not a commitment. When you make a commitment, you are saying that you will do whatever it takes to get the desired result. This means:
Defining the desired result;
Determining what it will take to achieve this result;
Blocking out the necessary time on your calendar;
Carrying out the plan, day by day.
Some of us experience a breakdown at step one. We aren’t sure exactly where we are going or what we hope to achieve. Without that, it’s impossible to make a plan. Or perhaps we we know what result we are looking for, but we’re afraid of achieving it because it represents a threat. Whatever our reason, without a clear goal in mind, we will find ourselves drifting away from the new project in favor of others that are more urgent or well-defined — often ones handed to us by other people.
Sometimes, we have clarity of purpose but break down at step two. We think we are committed, but we haven’t taken the time to figure out what that commitment entails. How many hours/days/weeks/months will it take to complete this work? What kind of support do we need? If we don’t take this step, we will forge ahead blindly and then burn out when we realize that we were trying to sprint a marathon.
Arriving at step three, we may discover that we have too many commitments to be successful in this new one. We can’t actually fit the necessary time on our calendar without disrupting other important projects, routines, and practices. We can then make changes to our schedule or say no to the new endeavor. It is our choice, and one that is better made before we waste three weeks flailing and failing only to make the choice by default anyway. This is the moment: Commit, or don’t. Ideally, you do this before actually buying or signing up for something.
The last step is execution. If you have done the first three steps and chosen to commit, this one is simple: You do the work when it shows up on your calendar. Sometimes the work is hard. Sometimes it is agonizing. Sometimes it takes longer than you think it will, and you have to make an adjustment to your plan. However, you’re not reevaluating the commitment at this stage. You’re not moving the goalposts. You’re following through.
Following these steps, you will succeed. How can you not? You will stick with the work until you reach the desired result, which you will recognize because it has been clearly defined. Be sure to celebrate and reflect on how far you’ve come. Then, decide what is next for you.
When you carefully consider your commitments, you may find yourself making fewer of them. This discernment will improve your chances of success, creating a virtuous cycle.
You may simply enjoy the feeling of purchasing a new book, online course, or gym membership. You may not mind if your track record on follow-through is relatively low. But if you are frustrated by missed deadlines or missed opportunities, you might try the four steps above. You may be pleasantly surprised at the improvement you see in your habits. If you try it, let me know how it goes.