What do you need?

It doesn’t have to be lonely at the top. (Image by Sasin Tipchai)

One of the things I enjoy about life in 2020 is how easy it is to travel light.

I can run multiple businesses from a laptop and smartphone. I’ve got a camera, calculator, address book, and anything else I might need, right in my pocket.

Under such circumstances, I might be able to get away with the illusion that I’m independent — self-sufficient. But nothing could be further from the truth.

Even as I’m responding to emails and updating my website from a coach bus with wifi or meeting with a client via video chat in a cafe, I’m benefiting from the work of an incredible team who keep things running smoothly.

There was a time when I didn’t know how to ask for help. I overdubbed instruments on my recordings instead of calling in friends to play with me. I spent hours doing routine clerical work instead of hiring someone.

I was afraid that If I asked for help, it would mean that I couldn’t do it. I thought people would think less of me or that my results would be less impressive.

My results were less impressive. Things stayed small and boring in my life and work because of my insistence on independence. It didn’t matter that I could accomplish things on my own — I didn’t have enough leverage to make an impact. I was playing a one-on-one pickup basketball game in a league made up of teams. It didn’t matter how proud I might be of my performance and accomplishments — there was no way to win.

I’m grateful to my first employee for actually approaching me for a job and for suggesting all kinds of useful tasks she could do, like taking out the trash. Who knows how long it would have been before I had the courage to seek out support on my own. That started me down the path of receiving help, but it still took a long time before I saw what could be possible with a team.

Now, it’s a game. How else might someone contribute to this work? How can we make it possible for more people to be involved? What am I still holding onto that someone else could do better?

I have the confidence to know that I am a resourceful adult who can survive in the world on my own. But I don’t have to. I rely on friends, family, colleagues, mentors, and employees to help me make my way. With their help, I can make a bigger contribution than I ever could on my own, and it’s a lot more fun.

The children and adolescents I work with have already absorbed the message that asking for help means you’re dumb and helpless. Nothing could be further from the truth. Asking for help is a bold step forward that gives us opportunities for collaboration and connection, lifting everyone higher.

We all need things from time to time: A bookkeeper, change for a dollar, an encouraging word, the solution to 8 across. Whatever you need, there’s probably someone who can offer it to you. In fact, that person might even be looking for the opportunity that you provide for them. When you ask for help, you might be helping someone else more than you can even imagine.

What do you need? How could things change for the better if you speak up and ask for it? How might it benefit others, too?