The opposite of a war of attrition

Plant the seeds, enjoy the harvest. (Image by NewWorldPics)

Moving to Maine hasn’t been good for my tennis game.

I didn’t feel comfortable going to the indoor tennis courts during covid, so I signed up for one of those flex leagues that allows you to find compatible players. Well, I found three players total, and the closest one was 20 miles away. That was a bit discouraging after spending almost two decades in a tennis haven in which there were dozens of players in my neighborhood alone and a bunch of drop-in classes available throughout the week in various parks and tennis centers.

Nevertheless, I am finding a way. My husband and I, when the weather cooperates a few months out of the year, head over to the local high school to hit the ball around. We never have to wait for a court—it’s usually deserted except for the one guy who uses it as a roller rink while listening to club music. It’s fun and we’re improving little by little, and that’s enough for now.

Tennis may be a competitive sport, but the part I’m struggling with isn’t how to win games. It’s how to stick with tennis in the first place. It’s inevitable that I’m going to backslide if I can’t get onto a court for months at a time. I don’t have many people to hit with, much less play in a formal league with. And doubles is out of the question. In spite of these obstacles, I will keep showing up however I can. I will accept the situation for what it is and have fun.

There are lots of people who would rather just not play tennis than deal with the frustration of playing poorly. It’s not worth it to them. That’s a choice we each get to make. For me, I can optimistically continue to play in the hopes that something is better than nothing, just as I continue to learn French in the hopes that I may someday once again have the opportunity to travel to a Francophone country.

I saw a lot of musicians come and go in my career as a music teacher; in my career as a middle school teacher and administrator, I saw a lot of kids give up on things when they believed that they couldn’t be the best. However, it was clear and obvious to me that anyone who had the fortitude to stick with a skill, whether it was learning an instrument, drawing manga characters, or graphing linear equations, would ultimately prevail. It’s an option that’s available to all of us if we just keep going. It’s a simple and boring choice that doesn’t promise to yield dramatic results at any point. On the other hand, any results at all are impossible if you quit.

I got an alert on my phone the other day. The app that helps me manage my website told me that my visits on a particular day were higher than expected. I had a look at the stats to see what was up. Sometimes that happens when one of my posts is shared on social media. But nope—I had no hit on my hands. What I saw instead was visitors going to many different posts. I guess if you write enough articles, eventually Google will send people to a bunch of them on the same day. It’s the opposite of a war of attrition. There’s no other side to beat and you have nothing to lose. In fact, you can only win if you keep doing the thing, again and again. Staying the course and showing up consistently, no matter what, will eventually pay off in some kind of way.

Consistency is a lot to ask when you’re taking your first faltering steps in a new skill or endeavor. At the least, you can begin to show up repeatedly. Just keep going back. Keep trying. It doesn’t have to be every day or even every week, but every little bit helps. At some point, a bit of momentum will kick in for you and it will get easier. To get there, all you have to do is not quit. It might feel pointless. I promise you, it’s not.