When trying harder doesn't work

Remember that old joke about the guy looking for his lost wallet under a streetlamp at night:

“Didn’t you drop it somewhere over that way?”

“Yeah, but the light is better right here.”

It’s really hard to admit when things aren’t working. Often, we would rather have the illusion that we’re making progress than face the brutal truth that we’re spinning our wheels and getting nowhere. Change is hard, being wrong is hard, and acknowledging sunk costs is especially hard. But simply trying harder won’t fix it.

There are ways to reframe the circumstances so that backtracking or review is less painful. The reality is that there are plenty of times when it looks like we’re going backward, but we’re really advancing in our knowledge and ability.

We can imagine that we’re the stone in a slingshot — being pulled back, back, and back, only to rocket forward faster and farther than we ever could otherwise.

We could see ourselves as long jumpers, going back to the starting line before gathering speed on the run-up and flying through the air.

And we could envision the tide coming in on the beach, each wave pulling back before crashing past the last one.

Maybe we’re renovating a beautiful old Victorian home, rebuilding its crumbling basement so that it will last another hundred years.

Or maybe, we accidentally went north on the Interstate and we have to get off at the next exit, turn around, and head south. Is this an annoying waste of time? Yeah. Is it going to fix it to keep heading north, but faster? Nope.

No matter how you choose to see it, going “backward” can be a powerful strategy that makes all the difference in getting unstuck and breaking through to the next level.

An experienced teacher or coach can help you identify when you’re stuck and propose solutions you might not see. It takes skill to know how to break things down into smaller pieces or find an earlier step in the sequence.

The results can be transformative and sometimes very quick. I’ve seen students stuck for weeks, months, or years on something like changing guitar chords smoothly or solving algebraic equations. Reviewing and rebuilding can turn things around in hours or even minutes.

Is there a skill you wish you could master but can’t seem to get the hang of? How might “going backward” be helpful?