The underdog and the bully

Pride is especially meaningful when you’ve overcome shame and oppression to find it. (Image by Kanenori)

How would you feel if you learned that a celebrity had reposted something that you shared on social media?

At first, you might be excited and hopeful that this increased exposure would lead to new fans and new opportunities.

For Theatre Dance Brian, the optimism he felt in exactly this situation was quickly crushed. It turned out that Snoop Dogg had reposted his video just to make fun of him, and thousands of people followed his lead.

It’s not a great leap to imagine that Brian, a gay man, was sent right back to his childhood experiences of being picked on for being different, his worst fears realized.

A look at Theatre Dance Brian’s Instagram and TikTok accounts reveals a person at ease with himself, fully embodying his passion for Broadway with a contagious joy and confidence. It is absolutely heartbreaking that anyone would choose him as a target for their mockery.

But then again, that’s always the way it goes, isn’t it? The happiest, most actualized people are the ones who are the most threatening to those who are miserable and insecure.

And no matter the stature of the bully who seeks to cut someone else down to earn cheap attention and approval, he still sees himself as the underdog, striving for respect and never getting enough.

This was a pattern that I saw play out many times in my years at The Little Middle School. The kid who was bullied becomes the bully and doesn’t even realize it. This person still thinks they are the one who is being picked on even though they are relentlessly terrorizing their classmates.

This pattern shows up in world leaders, movie stars, pop stars, and CEOs. I would argue that a great many atrocities in world history were caused by the actions of a bully who thinks he’s an underdog. We (humans) haven’t figured out how to deal with it, as evidenced by the war that’s been going on for a year now due to a weak, jealous, and insecure tyrant.

Snoop Dogg has caused a lot of damage with his actions. Not only has he harmed Brian, he’s influenced thousands of people to make cruel comments and emboldened the homophobia of who knows how many.

People get older, but they don’t grow up unless they choose to. When someone’s bad behavior is encouraged and reinforced, and they experience no negative consequences, it will continue. Hence, you get someone like Snoop Dogg behaving like an adolescent, yet with the power and reach of the established professional that he is.

That’s the kind of person that kids need to be protected from — not because of pot smoking or profane rap lyrics, but because of a casual attitude toward inflicting pain on other human beings. Nothing is more dangerous.

My heart hurts for Theatre Dance Brian. No one deserves the pain he is in. He was willing to put himself out there as generously and authentically as he possibly could, and his reward was inflamed, unmitigated hate. Of course, that hate has nothing to do with him, but it probably feels as personal as it possibly could.

I wouldn’t blame Brian for hiding out forever from now on. But I hope he doesn’t. I hope he keeps doing his exuberantly campy dances with a smile on his face and all the joy he can summon.

It may take awhile before that’s the same amount of joy he showed before. But he will heal. He is full of love that the haters only wish they could experience.

Theatre Dance Brian is proof that the underdog doesn’t have to become the bully. Instead, the pain and frustration of being overlooked, downtrodden, and dismissed can give way to the magic of putting yourself out there, bold and free. It’s not easy, which is why it’s so remarkable.

We stand with you, Brian.