Boys dance, too -- if the adults will make room

Daria L. and Jeff perform in The Nutcracker. (Photo by Lambtron - own work, CC BY-SA 4.0)

Last Thursday, Good Morning America did a quick segment about Prince George’s activities. Host Lara Spencer, encouraged by a laughing audience and co-host, used a mocking tone when she mentioned that George is taking ballet classes. She implied that the child’s enthusiasm for dance will not last.

I watched the segment, which has been shared widely by appropriately outraged people, with a mix of revulsion and dismay. First of all, why are adults even talking about a child’s activities on national television? I understand that the British royal family is fascinating to many, but surely we can find things to discuss other than a six-year-old.

Given that American television makes a routine practice of exploiting children, however, that part is de rigeur. But Lara Spencer took it to a new nadir when she laughed at the very idea of a little boy taking ballet lessons. If you are on television, you are a person of influence. You have the power to change the culture. What a waste to use that power to reinforce rigid and arbitrary gender norms.

These days, the influence of network TV shows is nowhere near what it used to be. It’s possible that, like me, more people learned about Spencer’s immaturity from various Internet news sources than tuned in to the original broadcast. People, including Patricia Ward Kelly, Gene Kelly’s widow, are pushing back.

But those of us in quieter positions of influence — those of us who are teachers, parents, coaches, therapists, and others who work with children — hold more sway over the ideas and opinions of the kids we encounter than any TV program could. And we owe it to those kids to continually work on our sexism, racism, classism, and any other biases we may hold.

It’s not just what we say. Our opinions are expressed by our actions, our tone, and what we don’t say. Lara Spencer apologized on Instagram by saying, “From ballet to anything one wants to explore in life, I say GO FOR IT. I fully believe we should all be free to pursue our passions.” She may think that she believes this, but that isn’t the attitude that she demonstrated before a national audience last week. By saying, “We’ll see how long that lasts,” Spencer was actively discouraging a little boy from pursuing his passions.

We do this all the time without realizing it, telegraphing our approval or disapproval to the children who look to us for guidance and support. When we are thinking one thing and saying another, we cause confusion and, eventually, mistrust. And the thing we’re thinking may slip out at an inopportune moment, especially when everyone else is laughing along with us.

It’s wonderful that people in the dance world have stepped up to educate Ms. Spencer in her ignorance. I hope it is a learning experience for her and for many who hold narrow views of what children should do and are capable of. We are all learning, all the time — and we should, indeed, be free to learn whatever we want without worrying about who’s watching and what they think.