The inner artist

You gotta get a little wet to get the fish. (Image by Skywalter)

It happens all the time that I’ll be speaking, writing, or teaching on a concept, and a person will connect it to something they’ve already seen or read.

This process of making connections is a very important aspect of learning.

And it’s no surprise that I’m sharing ideas that are cropping up elsewhere. That’s a positive sign.

However, I must admit that I don’t go right out and read whatever book or video someone mentions.

I’m sure I would be better at my job if I did. But in the meantime, I’m doing my own writing and thinking. I’m trying to make the most of what I know and understand from the books I’m already reading, the courses I’m taking, and my current and past experiences.

I can add more to the queue, but there’s only so much I can take in and assimilate at any one time.

In this way, I’m more like an artist than an entrepreneur, teacher, or marketer. And sometimes, this tendency is at cross-purposes with the actions I ought to take to build a business.

In the moments in which I am focused on my own self-expression over the needs and wishes of the people I seek to serve, I might be creating something helpful for them, but I might not. I might be reaching them, but I might not.

I’m learning that if I’m not getting the results I’m hoping for from my marketing or programs, I can ask myself whether my pesky inner artist has been taking over. I can adjust my approach to make more space for the marketer, business owner, or whomever is needed.

In the past, I wasn’t willing to do this. After all, I was a teen in the nineties, growing up amidst constant scorn about those who “sell out” and embrace commercial success over the long, hard slog of earning fans with no corporate intervention. Selling out was bad, and sticking to your weird, off-putting uncommercial ways was good.

I am still reluctant to do a lot of the things that would help me to be more successful or effective, but I don’t always consciously realize it. My inner artist likes to run the show.

For example, I have never republished a past post on this blog instead of writing a new one. That’s because the primary purpose of this blog is writing, not marketing — it’s art.

That is absolutely fine, as long as I’m aware of this. I would run into a problem if I were to expect my blog to be a marketing channel when I was deliberately not making it into one.

And, of course, that’s the kind of thing that happens all the time.

“Why aren’t these students fully engaged in this innovative lesson I’ve prepared?”

“Why don’t these teachers want to use my piano book that is tailored to the exact way that I (and I alone) teach piano?”

“Why isn’t anyone buying this program that I mentioned only once so as not to sully my beautiful Facebook feed?”

“Why aren’t listeners enthusiastic about the beautiful, complicated metaphor I wrapped in a song?”

There’s no reason to be disappointed in the outcome of any of these endeavors if I simply allow them to be art. If I want them to be something other than art, I have to put my focus on the people I’m serving and give them what they need in order to create their desired outcome.

It’s only “selling out” if I compromise my own values in the process. Even then, I might need to sort out which actions and beliefs of mine are truly aligned with my values and which have arisen out of fear and insecurity and are no longer serving me.

One by one, I’m uncovering these unhelpful actions and beliefs that are keeping me from being fully actualized. And that’s the irony: I will find the highest level of self-expression when I allow myself to engage not just my inner artist, but my inner teacher, marketer, and entrepreneur.

The artist in me still wants to create and connect with others; she doesn’t want to be invisible and obscure. With the help of some of these other roles, I can ensure that the actions I take can fulfill their purpose. I can create work that is meaningful to me while also finding a way to make it meaningful and useful to the people who are looking for it.

Sometimes that will mean drawing in and building on what I already have. And sometimes, it will mean taking note of what already exists, seeing what’s working for other people and building on that. Either way, it can be a satisfying creative act.