When you break your success streak
What’s gathering dust at your house? (Image by Michael Gaida)
If you have tried and failed to learn how to play the guitar, the reason is simply this: One day, you put the guitar back in its case and never took it out again.
That’s how people end up not completing the online courses they signed up for: They just stop logging in.
And the diet and exercise plan…the effort to quit smoking or drinking…the new budget that will allow us to save money for once…we abandon these initiatives when life gets in the way.
It feels great to be on a success streak. Ten days, three weeks — an unbroken chain of virtue and self-transformation. This time, we’re unstoppable!
Unfortunately, some of us have an all-or-nothing view of achievement: When that streak is over, we feel like crap. We succumb to the belief that, if a streak of consistent effort ends, there’s no point in trying anymore.
There will always be obstacles. We can count on inconsistencies, hiccups, and mess-ups. What matters is not that we never falter — what matters is that we keep going and keep trying.
We will fare much better in achieving our goals if we recognize that any effort toward them is worthwhile.
Five more minutes of guitar will improve your skills. Two more miles of walking will improve your fitness. Ten more minutes of yoga will improve your well-being. And with each cigarette you don’t smoke, you’re allowing your lungs to heal.
You may feel that others are watching and judging — that you can’t try again in front of everyone. But what if they would be thrilled to welcome you back? What if the community around you can help and support you, not just when things are going well, but when you’re struggling? Maybe the others have been where you are and know how to help you through it.
The same stubbornness that makes you feel sick to your stomach at the thought of trying again can be channeled into a resolute dedication to the task at hand. So maybe you miss a day or fall off the wagon for awhile. That can’t stop you! You just get back to it, again and again, as many times as it takes.
The less of a big deal you make of success streaks and perfect records, the easier it is to follow through on what you’re doing. Deciding to meditate doesn’t require an official pronouncement of, “I Am Starting a Meditation Program Today And This Time I Will Stick With It.” You’re just closing your eyes and sitting still for ten minutes. It’s simply an action you can take. And you can do it again…and again.
Sometimes, we sleep in. Sometimes, there’s a family crisis and all of our initiatives go out the window. Sometimes, our streak is a delicious bowl of ice cream every night for a week. And the next day, we can decide to pick up a pencil and draw, or put on running shoes and go for a jog, or open a fresh spreadsheet and write up a budget for the remainder of the month. We are never too far away from our goals and aspirations to move toward them. We are never unworthy of the things that we want for ourselves.
It can be frustrating when we can’t pick up where we left off and we can see that we’ve regressed. However, we can still make progress. The act of beginning again is, in itself, meaningful progress. To accept that we our results won’t be perfect and do the work anyway — that’s growth. And such growth of character is even more valuable than whether we can do a headstand or play a song well. To persist when it’s uncomfortable to do so helps us to develop and reinforce a self-discipline that will serve us well throughout our lives.
What have you tried and failed at? What would happen if you gave yourself permission to try again, without expectations or pressure?