Learning or stalling, progressing or moving?
Are you sure that’s a good idea? (Image by Public Co)
It’s fascinating to watch toddlers at play, whether on the playground or in the pool.
Some of them go right for the toy they want, while others hang back and let others proceed first.
Some children get a thrill out of trying new things, while others feel a twinge of anxiety.
Certainly, our experiences influence us, but some of these traits emerge virtually from birth. And while there is no right or wrong way to be, understanding our tendencies can help us to get more of what we want out of life.
In particular, we can get a sense of whether it is boldness or hesitancy that is more likely to be an obstacle for us.
Where do you fall on the spectrum of impulsivity?
When it’s time to try something new, do you tend to be cautious, or do you jump into it quickly?
As a person on the impulsive end of the axis, I tend to forget to do things like planning and research.
Therefore, when I slow down and do these important things, it’s almost never an excuse to hide or stall. It is generally a sign of maturity and circumspection on my part.
In fact, I need to make an extra effort to take the necessary time for reflection, thoughtful consideration, weighing of consequences, and thinking all the way through the potential effects of my actions, not just in the immediate future, but over time.
And I benefit from preparatory steps that will make a good outcome more likely. Warming up, stretching, easing in, observing before participating — these habits will serve me well.
That is the funny thing about advice or best practices: What I need could be the exact opposite from what you need. Those of you who are more careful and wary have already mastered the art of looking before leaping. You don’t have to worry, like me, that you’ll make a giant mess through your lack of control or forethought. Instead, if anything, your struggle will be the temptation to sit on the sidelines for so long that you’re still there when the music stops. You probably don’t need more data or additional coursework. You probably just need to get started.
To learn, we can watch what others are doing, make a plan, and then go. We’ll gain a lot from observation and reflection. Then, actually trying the thing — learning from experience, by doing — is the ideal way to round out our education. Both modes are valid and valuable.
How do we know when to switch from one to the other? I don’t know. But I benefit from consciously reminding myself to think twice — to examine the entire buffet before I fill up my plate with the first thing I see. And if you’re at the other end of the spectrum, you might have to nudge yourself off of the diving board and into the dive. (Different mindsets, different metaphors.)
We can ask ourselves: Am I learning or stalling? Am I gathering information and collecting wisdom, or am I simply waiting? Am I being responsible or reluctant?
And if those questions don’t resonate, we can ask: Am I progressing or just moving? Have I thought this all the way through? Am I prepared for what might happen next?
And we can ask each other these questions, too. I’m grateful to the people close to me who balance me and question me, even when I don’t like it. “And what if it doesn’t work?” Hopefully, I do the same for them by encouraging them to make a move when nothing bad is likely to happen. And when it matters most, we will arrive at the best decision about something important as a result of consultation together.
