Showing up, camera on
Others can help you to get a more flattering angle. (Australian War Memorial collection)
My middle school students in Atlanta have two short teleconferences every day to check in.
We are getting about half of the students on these calls regularly.
Of these, there are always three to five students who sit silently with their cameras off for the duration of the call, leaving the rest of us to gaze at a black box.
The purpose of these calls isn’t to share critical announcements or academic content — we have other avenues for that. Rather, it’s social. We hope to help each other feel less isolated and more connected. We want to celebrate birthdays, share a laugh, and feel a sense of unity.
There are plenty of people who don’t need that. I don’t need that, really. But I show up every day. Why? Because it’s not about what I need. I understand that I have a contribution to make to the group.
The students who are not showing up are weighing the importance of the call against their own agenda or their difficulty with self-management. They don’t realize how much they are needed — how much it would transform the energy of our group to have their presence. They don’t see that the reason they should be on the call isn’t for their own benefit — it’s for the benefit of others and the group as a whole.
The students who are showing up and keeping their cameras off have a similar misunderstanding. They’re present literally in name only, with the letters of their name where their face should be. They are lurking on the call to get any benefits that may be available. They don’t want to miss announcements or jokes or their “credit” for attending. However, they fail to offer anything themselves. In fact, I would go so far as to say that their lack of participation actively degrades the call for everyone else.
When a learning group comes together, whether in a classroom or on a teleconference, there is no audience. That’s because there is no performance — there is only participation, and to participate is an act of leadership. Participation need not be constant chatter; attentive listening is an effective way to participate, too. But to keep your camera off on a ten-minute call and not even say hello or goodbye is to state, “I choose not to be a participant here,” just as clearly as if you didn’t show up at all. Such silent spectators shift the energy of the call, creating a de facto stage on which the participants are now playing. This is uncomfortable and unwelcome. Inevitably, the next time, there are more black boxes and fewer participants.
A person’s reluctance to show up might be rooted in insecurity, vanity, or simply a lack of commitment. Either way, they are putting their own needs ahead of the group, which makes it hard for a group to survive. The irony is that each person has the power to strengthen the group, increasing the likelihood that they, themselves, will benefit from participating. Just by showing up, they make the group better and more valuable.
Many people — especially middle schoolers — don’t consider themselves to be leaders and don’t understand the impact they can have on others as a result of their choices. They don’t believe that what they have to share could make a difference for someone else, and they don’t see the power of their presence. These people underestimate the value of a word of encouragement, a smile, or a perceptive question. They don’t realize that what they have to offer is more precious to others than it is to them.
To speak directly to those who are struggling here: When you show up, whether that’s on your webcam or on a discussion board or in person, it’s not because you want to be seen. It’s because you want to help others to feel seen. It’s a gift you can give, an act of leadership. It’s a moment of human connection in an uncertain time in which traditional forms of human connection are scarce. Maybe you don’t need us, but we need you.