The magic of a self-reinforcing habit

When exercise is transportation, it doesn’t require willpower. (Image by papagnoc)

When I started waking up at 5 AM, everything changed. Regardless of when I went to bed the night before, I had clarity and energy.

I could get more done before 8 AM than I would normally achieve in an entire day. In time, waking up at 8 AM began to feel like more of a hardship than waking at 5. I was missing my best time of day.

I’ve come to suspect that there’s nothing intrinsic to the morning hours that makes me so productive. Rather, the act of waking up early makes me feel virtuous and on top of things. I’m starting my day with an achievement that I feel good about. Not only does this influence the rest of my day, it creates a positive association with early morning that keeps me rising earlier on other days — and rearranging my life to continue doing it successfully (for instance, by going to bed earlier).

It doesn’t take discipline for me to wake up early. It’s a self-reinforcing habit.

I make use of the opportunity to create these positive habits wherever I can find them. When it comes to a group of students, sincere praise is incredibly powerful. Coming to the front of the room and thanking them for their attention (“Wow, you quieted down so quickly. I appreciate that so much. You are such a respectful group”) works wonders. So, too, does preemptive praise (“We have a student coming to visit tomorrow. I’m so excited for her to meet you all — I know how you go out of your way to make visiting students feel welcome”). It doesn’t work if you’re faking it or trying to manipulate, but it really works if the praise is offered sincerely. The students experience a collective identity shift that causes them to act in ways that are consistent with the good things that are being said about them, which garners more sincere praise. It’s another virtuous cycle that reinforces itself.

Part placebo effect, part operant conditioning, and part common sense, the strategy of creating self-sustaining positive habits stands in opposition to the preferred approach of so many of us, which is to berate ourselves and others for being lazy, inconsiderate slowpokes who aren’t working or trying hard enough. Instead of appreciating how far we’ve come and building on what’s working, we focus on how far we have to go and get frustrated that we haven’t achieved our goal already. Even though it hurts, we will prefer nagging and criticizing if it’s what we’re used to.

I can’t help people change their way of thinking if they don’t want to. But the good news is that we can build a new way of being right alongside the old one. We can look for ways to reward new habits even as we cling to the old ones. In time, we can begin to let go of the old way. We’ll become more comfortable with positive feelings, like pride in our work and a sense of appreciation of what we have. We’ve created a self-reinforcing habit of choosing positive reinforcement over punishment.

If there’s an area where you feel stuck, how might you change things so that you are rewarding the tiniest step forward? What rituals could you create to increase your effectiveness over time with less effort? If this approach seems too good to be true, you will benefit from it the most.