Mind your metaphors

There’s a light in the darkness. (Image by Susanne Jutzeler, suju-foto)

“Everything is falling apart, and I can’t hold on.”

“I find myself being a collector of other people’s bad feelings.”

“I worry about being invisible.”

These statements are all metaphorical. The circumstances they are describing cannot be literally true (except that the first one could perhaps be true in an earthquake or tornado).

I love metaphors. They can be an expressive and effective way of making sense of complex processes and experiences.

However, our metaphors should be chosen carefully. Good ones light up a path in the direction we want to go.

But metaphors can also be destructive, making us feel as though our options are limited and we are powerless.

If we say that we are cloaked in a heavy darkness and can’t see any light, that may indeed describe the feelings of hopelessness and despair that we feel. And yet, we are setting ourselves up to miss the actual sunny day that we are part of and ignore the people who are prepared to help us. None of that fits the metaphor.

If I am afraid that all my best work is going to sink without a trace, I may be hesitant to even create something — even though the work will exist safely in notebooks and audio recordings and can’t actually be taken away from me. The metaphor creates a danger that isn’t real.

The figures of speech may express legitimate emotions. However, the words we use can also strengthen our feelings and reinforce habits that aren’t helping us. If we examine our figurative language and recognize it for what it is, we may be able to see new possibilities.

For example, suppose I have difficulty in social situations. Instead of accepting the statement, “I always freeze up in group settings,” I might observe that I’m not literally frozen. I can still do and say anything I wish. I would be more accurate to say that I feel nervous, anxious, or uncomfortable in group settings, and that is a problem that can be solved or circumvented.

We’re in control of far more than we may believe (or wish to believe). The results we get are influenced by the beliefs we hold, because our beliefs tend to dictate our actions. And my assertion is that the metaphors we use not only express our beliefs, they create our beliefs. If I think that “my creativity is in a locked box that I can’t find the keys to,” why would I even try to write a song or a poem?

If you don’t like the results you’re getting or you feel distressed, trapped, or fearful, it may be worth examining the figurative language you use. If it’s not helping you to feel more joyful or fulfilled, you might try replacing it with a metaphor that’s more useful.