Why my students call me by my first name

Not every situation calls for a formal address — or a formal dress. (State Library and Archives of Florida)

My niece, a fifth-grader, recently asked me what my students call me. She was surprised when I said that I have them call me by my first name and asked me why.

I did work in a traditional public district for a year, early in my career. I was the music teacher at two public schools, kindergarten through fourth grade. There, I went by Miss McCann, which is my maiden name. The previous teacher was Mrs. Caccavo, so for many of the little kids, my name was Mrs. McCavo. I felt like I had a separate identity — like Clark Kent turning into Superman, Casey turned into Mrs. McSomething.

I didn’t like it. At a time in my early adulthood when I was trying to figure out who I was, I felt like I was having to be someone I wasn’t. So when I moved to a new city and started teaching private music lessons, I went by Casey. It was the South, so people tended to call me “Miss Casey,” but that was fine — it was still me.

Later, when I started The Little Middle School, there was no reason to change. And as other teachers came on board, they were called by their first names, too.

At this point, the implications of this choice became more interesting. Many of our students had, for whatever reason, struggled in a previous school. By encouraging them to call us by our first names, we teachers were able to hasten the process of building trust. Instead of putting ourselves above our students, we were getting right on their level. We treated them like human beings first and students second. This was made easier by presenting ourselves as human beings first, teachers second — and our names were part of that.

For students coming from traditional school settings, the opportunity to use teachers’ first names sent a clear message that our environment was fundamentally different. This was not a place where you had to hide your true feelings, interests, and struggles. This was a place where you could be yourself.

Not every teacher wants to be on a first-name basis with their students. For some, it signals the erosion of respect. I can certainly understand this perspective. In school environments where kids are out of control and do not respect authority figures as such, calling teachers by a more formal title reinforces a healthy degree of distance between kids and adults and strengthens a sense of order. And, of course, there are cultures in which calling a teacher by her first name would make parents and children so deeply uncomfortable that there would be no benefit.

However, in our small, progressive school environment, the first-name basis between students actually promotes respect. Teachers cannot hide behind their status as authority figures — they must show up in the classroom as themselves. Instead of demanding respect because of their role, they expect and offer the respect that any person should show another. Thereby, they are modeling for students the way that everyone should be treated. Students, realizing that they won’t be “put in their place,” follow this example, creating a better environment for everyone.

At this point, I’ve had many students transition from childhood to adolescence to adulthood. I count many former students as friends, and I suspect that this is facilitated by the fact that they already called me by first name when they were six years old. We may have had a formal teacher-student relationship, but they always knew me, not just my role.

My students call me by my first name because I want to connect with them as people. I take it for granted that my status as teacher and coach won’t be compromised by this. I consider it a privilege to guide and support these young people as they make their way, and I want my students to know that my interest in them extends beyond the classroom to the rest of their lives. I’m building a relationship with them as a person, not just a teacher.